Thursday, May 20, 2010

Settling in

Life has been busy to say the least. But for the most part, it's been full of day-to-day busyness. Doctor appointments, diaper changes, feedings, trying to find time to feed myself and even fit in a workout if I'm lucky. Most nights Nora sleeps pretty well, which is good. Steve needs sleep to function at work and I'm an absolute bear if I don't get enough sleep. Getting enough sleep is key to me having a good day. Yesterday wasn't such a good day. The problem was more that sleep was interrupted than short, although 6.5 isn't really enough for me. The longest stretch was 3.5 hours. Ugh. I miss sleep. At least Nora slept better last night, which means I did too.

Most of my day has been consumed with changing diapers, feeding, and burping. It's working well enough, although between two toddlers and an infant, my needs tend to get pushed back. Yesterday I didn't eat breakfast until 12:30. Lunch is usually around 3:00. I've been trying my hardest to work out regularly, since I'm not happy with my body or the scale right now. Since it's the only thing I manage to do for me other than eat and use the bathroom, I make it a priority. Unfortunately, priority or not, the earliest I manage to work out is 4:00, usually later. But I get it done and I'm seeing some results, in my body, on the scale, and my fitness level. I wish it were quicker but I'm notoriously impatient (married 7 months after our first date? 3 kids in 3.5 years? after only being married 4.5 years? yup). I know I'll get there soon enough but the waiting is hard.

Nora has started smiling. Real smiles. It's wonderful. They're still few and far between but I love them. Ella and Mia love their sister, Mia especially. If I lay Nora on a blanket on the floor, Mia has to sit thisclose to her. Nora doesn't seem to mind and I think it's sweet. Mia is pretty good about being gentle too. Ella helps us more than dotes on Nora, which is sweet in its own right.

It's 11:30 and Nora needs to eat and have her diaper changed. Then the girls need lunch and then it's nap time, which means another diaper change. Nora will need to eat again then and be burped. Hopefully she'll fall asleep for a little bit and I can eat lunch and then feed her again before I work out. Maybe I can get the workout done and get a shower before Steve gets home today. Then dinner and I have a chiropractor appointment at 6:40. I have a few other errands and then it's the girls' bedtime. Busy busy. At least I get out of the house today...

Saturday, May 8, 2010

A Mother's Day Letter

Dear Mom,
Happy Mother's Day! Sorry we can't spend it together this year, but we'll make up for it next weekend. I'm glad you can spend today with your mom.

I always knew you did a lot for me and I appreciated it. But I didn't realize all you did and how much you sacrificed for us until I had kids of my own. Thank you for everything, and thank you for never thinking it was a sacrifice. People seem to think I'm a good mom and that my kids are sweet, smart, and well-behaved. I know I can take some credit for that, but I think a lot of that credit should go to you, since you taught me how to be a good mom. Thank you for being supportive and involved but giving me space to grow up and learn on my own. Thank you for making time for me when it wasn't convenient. Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick. Thank you for loving me when I was difficult and not very likable. Thank you for all the advice over the years and resisting giving me advice when I didn't ask for it, lol.

I miss you and wish you lived closer. I'm really looking forward to seeing you next weekend. Since Nora was born, I've thought a lot about the night you stayed at the hospital with me after Amelia was born so Steve could be home with Ella. While I really appreciated your help, I think I appreciated the time alone with you even more. I still laugh when I think about the story you told me over lunch, when you laughed so hard you cried. It's one of my favorite recent memories of you. Thanks again for everything Mom. You're the best and I love you.

Love,
Paula