Monday, August 31, 2009

Kids are fun

The girls are a lot of work but they also provide tons of entertainment. Here are a few things that have happened recently:

- Yesterday morning Steve was dressed and had the girls dressed while I was still in my pajamas. Ella, who gets very excited to go to church, asked, "Mommy, do you want to go to church with us?"

- Amelia is learning how things work. When crying for a toy Ella had didn't work, she negotiated for a trade. It worked, lol. She also has been hiding toys she doesn't want to share. This leads me to think that the toys I can't find aren't lost but stashed somewhere.

- Ella has been calling Kat (a wonderful friend who babysits so I can work a little bit) Mama. She calls me Mom or Mommy. Kat filled me in because she didn't want my feelings hurt. Apparently Ella started calling her Mama and Kat corrected her and said her name is Kat. Ella pointed to Sydney and Regan and said, "They call you Mama. Your name is Mama." Kat couldn't come up with an argument for that, so Ella now calls her Mama, lol.

- Mia is talking more and more. It's a lot of fun to have her repeat phrases in her tiny voice. Most of it's not very clear, but adorable anyhow.

- They both like to dance and have been singing. Ella has been making up her own songs too. She loves the Veggie Tales theme too.

- This is more of a brag, but Ella is learning her letters and the sounds they make. Wherever we go, she points out letters that she sees. I know reading is still a ways off, but I definitely think she'll learn to read early. I mean, she's not 3 yet and is trying to sound out words. I wish we could get her that interested in potty training!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

PT working mom (kinda)

I got a job, sort of. My internship site is frequently short-staffed and has not hired people to fill the gaps left by the former interns (myself included). Normally this is more of an annoyance than anything else, but with two regulars out for surgery and one on vacation, they needed more help. So they called me and asked if I'd like to work on a part-time fill-in basis. Since I miss adult interaction and we could use some extra money, I agreed. Originally it was supposed to be 40 hours of work and 5 hours of training. To date, I have had 6.5 hours of training and worked 7 hours. The 40 scheduled hours begin next week. I've also turned down another 7 or so hours of work. Obviously it's going to be important for me to be able to say no when I need to but this is looking like a fairly promising job. Getting hours should not be a problem. I'm hoping this will be a nice balance of being a stay-at-home parent and having a fulfilling job with adult interaction and intellectual stimulation. I'll keep you posted...

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Putters, tennis rackets, and (flying) bats

Last night was our adult-only dinner. It was wonderful. Since our parents get along so well, we decided it would be fun to have dinner out with all of them. Since Mom and Dad live in Grand Rapids now, we planned to meet in Lansing. Sarah, Steve's wonderful sister, just got back from Arizona but was willing to babysit Ella and Amelia and Isaac and Julia at our house. Dinner was fun and much less weird than you'd expect a triple date with your parents and in-laws to be. :) Then we found a putt putt golf place and decided to do that too. Since we had thunderstorms earlier in the day, most of the greens were waterlogged and some were partially flooded. That just made it more fun. I lost miserably but we had a lot of laughs and it was nice to have a night with both sets of parents without kids as distractions. Luckily, the girls were pretty good for Sarah too.

We got to bed late, about 12:30. Then it happened. I saw it first, when Steve had fallen asleep and I was doing electronic sudoku. I saw a dark flutter out of the corner of my eye and then saw it again, screamed, and dove under the covers. In the process I smacked myself in the forehead with my sudoku. I have a nice goose egg. Steve woke up and pulled the blankets over his head too, not sure what was going on. But there it was, a bat, circling our bed. Then we tried to decide what to do while it flew and dove over our bed. Finally we peeked and couldn't find it. Looked everywhere. Thing is, we didn't know where it came from either. So finally we both climbed into bed. After I calmed down I fell asleep. Steve kept reading and woke me up a while later to say it was back. This time we watched it in the mirror on our headboard. Thing is, by the time we were brave enough to actually look, it had disappeared again. Again, I went back to sleep while Steve stayed awake reading. That time he had a tennis racket. When it reappeared, he smacked it a few times and stunned it and pinned it on the floor with the racket. He managed to bash his knee with the racket too (apparently we're klutzes). He went downstairs and got a diaper box to slide underneath the bat and racket and carried the entire thing downstairs. Then he wasn't sure what to do so I helped him put a garbage bag over the entire thing and then opened the back door. He walked out onto the patio and whipped the whole mess into the yard. So by the time I finally got to sleep and stayed asleep, it was 3:15. Steve said he was awake until 4:00.

This morning the girls started making noise around 8:00 but we didn't get out of bed until we heard Ella shrieking at Amelia. Not sure what the problem was. But both girls were grumpy, Steve and I are both tired, it's already hot and sticky humid, and I still have a bump and headache from my sudoku puzzle. So we decided it was probably best to stick close to home today. We're enjoying our new church and the small group and will resume that on Wednesday with small group. Luckily the girls seem to be a bit more agreeable and a bit less cranky now. Praying it lasts!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Parenting is hard

Steve and I have come to the conclusion that we are officially parents now. Up until this past week, we were coasting and it was pretty easy most of the time. Seriously, taking care of two kids with the stomach flu while I had the stomach flu (twice in a month's time even) was easier than this past week has been.

Like I said in my last post, Ella has been increasingly defiant lately. It got to the point where she refused to pick up anything ever. It all came to a head on Tuesday (I think - all my days are blurring together into one big time out). She got out a plastic crib sheet and refused to put it away. I told her she was not leaving her room until she put it away. She still refused. And the standoff began. I took Mia downstairs and went back up to change Ella's diaper. Still refused to put the sheet away. I checked on her every so often to see if she'd changed her mind. Nope. The kid is stubborn. Isaac and Julia came over for a few hours and even tempting her with playing with them didn't work. I brought her a cereal bar. Isaac and Julia tried one last time to convince her to put it away before they left. I did bring her downstairs for lunch. She ate and immediately went back upstairs. Still she refused. Finally I took Mia up for nap time and changed Ella's diaper again. I reminded her that she needed to be quiet so Mia could take a nap and that she needed to put the sheet away if she wanted to come downstairs at the end of nap time. Once I checked on them and she not only still had the sheet out but had pulled all the blankets and toys off her bed. :( So I told her she also needed to put those away to come downstairs. Later during nap time Mia started crying. I went to check on her and had to give her back her blankets which she'd thrown on the floor. Then I noticed something. The plastic sheet was back where I had asked Ella to put it!!! I was so excited I hugged her and started dancing around her room. It made her start giggling. Since nap time wasn't over yet, I told her that it was still nap time and her blankets needed to be on her bed at the end but I was so proud of her for putting the sheet away! Since she'd finally obeyed me, I stashed the plastic sheets in the closet, never to cause a problem again. And so the great blanket standoff ended, a mere 7.5 hours after it began.

There were a few hiccups that evening. At the end of nap time she initially refused to put her blankets, pillow, and toys back on her bed. But it only took about 15 minutes alone in her room to decide it was best to put them away, so I consider that a victory. But later in the evening we had issues when she flat out refused to put away the books downstairs. Sigh.

Since that standoff, we've had no more issues with putting things away upstairs. However, Ella hasn't made the connection that she also needs to put things away downstairs. Or at church in the nursery. Or probably anywhere else. As a result we've had lots of time outs when it's time to put anything away. She went upstairs early for a nap yesterday because she refused to help pick up. Mia got to stay up longer and watch Curious George. I repeatedly explained to Ella that Mia got to stay up and watch Curious George because she picked up toys when I asked her to. I'm not sure it's getting through to her.

Today it was shoes. I made it clear to Ella that she needed to put them all back when she was done playing with them. No dice. So she went into time out. Mia helped me pick up the shoes and I left two for Ella to put away. Ella kept refusing so she went to the time out corner. Unfortunately, while she was in time out, Mia put those shoes away. So what do I do now? I tried to make it clear to Ella that I was disappointed that she didn't do what I asked and that she's very lucky to have Mia for a sister. Then the battle became Ella telling Mia thank you. I figure that Ella got out of putting the shoes away and the least she could do is tell Mia thank you. So she stayed in time out for two hours, in increments of two minutes. Every time the timer went off I asked if she was ready to tell Mia thank you. She would say no and I'd restart the timer. Finally I decided it was time for lunch and explained to her that if she wouldn't say thank you to Mia then immediately after lunch, she was going upstairs. Family time is a privilege earned by being part of this family, meaning she has to help pick up the messes she makes. So Ella has already been upstairs for an hour. Mia stayed down here with me and got to watch Curious George. She helped me pick up shoes when I asked her to. It's almost nap time and Mia will go upstairs.

I feel worst for Mia. She hates to see Ella get in trouble, which is why she keeps cleaning up after her. And she doesn't like being downstairs if Ella isn't down here too. So her "reward" is more like punishment I'm afraid. Poor kid adores her sister.

I'm hoping today's time outs help Ella learn that she needs to pick up things downstairs too. I don't like this defiant child she's becoming. Every day feels like a long battle of wills, one that I am just barely winning. My best trait in this is my own stubbornness and refusal to give in and let my two year old daughter win.

It's becoming a bit of a bedtime issue too. She doesn't want to do anything we ask. We started a small group last night that ran until 8:30, so it was around 9 when we got home. Normally the girls go to bed between 8 and 8:30. Ella had refused to put a toy away at the nursery but we let that go. Then we got home and she fought having her diaper and clothes changed. Then she refused to go upstairs. What began as a simple "no" became an all-out screaming tantrum. We mostly ignored it and Steve waited for her to come to the bottom of the stairs while I helped Mia brush her teeth. It was horrible. I have never seen Ella so worked up and she was letting out bloodcurdling screams. We read that we should not punish for tantrums - tantrums are the way that toddlers deal with their big emotions until they learn better ways to handle them. But once Ella finally flopped to the bottom of the stairs, Steve let her know in no uncertain terms that it's okay to be upset but screaming like that is NOT allowed. She cried through brushing her teeth and once in bed refused to say good night or I love you. Even worse, she even refused to kiss or hug us. Sigh. This is not fun but I'm trusting right now that she'll learn and things will get better.

On a happier note, I took a break from writing this post to take Mia upstairs for her nap. I figured I'd have to let this morning go and not push Ella to say thank you to Mia, but at the same time I wasn't sure that was the best thing either. Once in their room, Mia immediately ran to Ella's bed to hug her. I asked Ella if she could say thank you to Mia and she kinda smiled and said "thank you 'Mewia." I told her how proud I was that she said it and hugged and kissed her. Just when I think there's not going to be any improvement, she surprises me. Thank God for that, because this is what keeps me hopeful and trusting that we're doing the right thing and she's learning, even if it's more slowly and painfully than I'd like.