Yesterday was an up and down sort of day. It started out with a Facebook message saying that my grandma was in the hospital and it was serious. I called Mom and we both cried. Grandma is 91 and the diagnosis yesterday was gallstones and pancreatitis. I thought for sure I'd have to say good bye to her yesterday. I talked to Dad once they were at the hospital with Grandma and the outlook sounded much better. But since any issue can be serious when you're 91, Steve and I made the trip over (with Reid) to see Grandma. She seemed to be doing well and they expect she'll be in the hospital for a week and then return to the care home. My day ended much better than it began. But it made me think a lot about my grandma, my one surviving grandparent, and I thought I'd tell you about her.
Grandma was born in September of 1919, the first of many September birthdays in our family (there are four others). She had a brother and a sister, although I'm not sure if they were older or younger. (Jesse died a few years ago and Ruth passed away before I was born.) I believe Grandma was born in Sunfield and lived in the area her entire life (so far, although I doubt she'll move away). In her 20s, her father was sick, so she took care of him and her mother. He passed away by the time she married Grandpa. When I asked her how she met Grandpa, she told me she knew him from the time she was born. Their families went to the same church and they were friends for years before they got married around age 30. Grandpa got a job at Kellogg when Grandma was pregnant with Durwood. They had Marie a few years later. At one point Grandma was pregnant and miscarried. She told me she argued with the doctor, insisting she was still pregnant, while he insisted she wasn't. Several months later, she gave birth (she had been carrying twins) to Carla, who didn't survive more than a few days. I remember visiting her grave with Grandma when I was little. A few years later, they bought a house in Nashville and then had Carol, my mom. By that time, Grandma was 39. Imagine - in the 1940s, she waited until she was about 30 to get married - spinster status at that time. She had already lost a parent and two children. And she had a baby at nearly 40, back in the 50s (late 50s, but still). That's Grandma. She's very opinionated and spunky. She's incredibly independent, which has been difficult for her in the last few years.
Grandpa had heart problems for several years. I'm not sure of the time table, but he had a few heart attacks. Durwood married Sue and they had Jenny and Shelly. Marie married Dave but divorced him (I'm not a fan of divorce, but from what I've heard of him, she was better off and fortunate they don't share children). At some point in there, Grandma's sister passed away, from complications of early on-set Alzheimers. In 1978, Mom married Dad. A week later, Grandpa had a heart attack at church and passed away later at the hospital. Mom and Dad stayed with Grandma for a few months before moving to Kentucky for seminary. Marie married Ken shortly after that and they had twins, Brian and Amy, the following year.
More grandkids came: Reid, then me, Tracy, and Leslie. And then Jenny married Donny and Shelly married Bill and great-grandkids came; Sarah, Jacob, Molly, and Scott. Then the family got smaller again before it got bigger: Jenny and Donny divorced, Durwood passed away unexpectedly (heart attack), and Ken passed away just months later (also heart attack). A few short months later, we added to the family again: I married Steve and Tracy married Donovan. Babies came shortly after that and Leslie married Paul and Brian married Rebecca. Grandma now has eight grandchildren (plus five spouses) and nine great-grandchildren, with another on the way.
Grandma has had some health issues over the years. Due to iritis, she's blind in one eye and has been as long as I can remember. She has some heart problems and at one point she had a lump removed from her breast. She had some balance issues, which eventually led to her moving to a home. Like I said, Grandma is very independent. By then she'd been living alone for 30 years. She knew it was best not to live alone anymore, but I think it was really hard for her. She was used to taking care of herself and taking care of others, not letting people take care of her. A good example is the first time Steve met her. We met her at a restaurant for dinner, for her birthday I think. She had fallen recently and injured her ankle and was in a wheelchair. Brian and Marie were with her and Brian tried to push her wheelchair for her. She slapped his hand away and insisted, "I'll do it myself." She was 86 then. :) She accepts help a bit more willingly now but is still pretty feisty. I'm inclined to think that's what changed the doctor's opinion on Saturday, from thinking she wouldn't leave the hospital to believing she'll be around a bit longer.
I'm glad she'll be around longer. I would never wish to prolong any pain she's in and at 91 I know she may not be around much longer. She's outlived a lot of the people in her life already. But I wasn't ready to say goodbye yesterday and I'm relieved she's okay, at least for the moment. Mom and Marie are really close to Grandma and I don't think they're quite ready yet either. In the meantime, I'm going to visit her more often. She still has lots of stories I haven't heard and I bet they're good ones.
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