Grief and loss

I had a whole post ready to go about last week. Uncle Fred passed away Monday morning. Ella got sick. We had our 7th wedding anniversary. The visitation was Thursday and the funeral was Friday. We came home to the news of the shooting in Connecticut. The week was emotional and up and down.

Uncle Fred had a long life and turned 86 a few weeks before he died. He was married to Aunt Rita for 60 years and they dated for 10 years before that. He had been sick for a few months and the last month was rough. But it gave everyone in the family the opportunity to visit and say goodbye. He wanted to make it to Aunt Rita's 90th birthday on Christmas day. We're all concerned about her, since she's getting older and her balance and physical strength isn't what it used to be. She had a black eye at the visitation and funeral, after getting tangled in her sheets and falling while climbing out of bed. She may not be able to stay in their home much longer, at least not without someone staying with her. My heart's been heaviest through all this thinking about Rita and what she must be feeling. 70 years with one man is an amazing accomplishment and there must be a lot of heartache now that he's gone. He did repent and become a Christian at the end, so that's some comfort.

The news of the shooting put that loss in perspective. Yes, we miss Uncle Fred already and I'm afraid of what his death means for Aunt Rita, but the only person we had to say goodbye to on Friday had a long life and we had time to say goodbye while he was still alive. That's a tremendous gift. So many people were not so fortunate on Friday. It's tragic. The whole thing is unthinkable. I don't believe gun control or different laws would have prevented it. I believe the mental health system needs to be changed, though I don't have any suggestions of how to do it. I don't think pointing fingers does any good. I don't think talking about guns helps anything. I don't think the incessant coverage and rehashing helps either. Attempting to discover what could have prevented this may help prevent future attacks, but that doesn't seem to be where the media is focused. I don't have answers and I don't think there is an easy answer to this. My grand solution is to show love and pray, a lot. I pray for peace for the families torn apart. I pray for people to have compassion towards the brother of the shooter, who was originally accused and may be stuck with the stigma of this horror while mourning the loss of his own family. I pray for the kids and staff who witnessed or heard much more than anyone ever should, let alone at such a tender age. I pray this won't happen again. I pray for safety. I pray for all the people who feel the deep pain that leads to committing this kind of act. I pray for people to show love at every opportunity and that maybe small acts of kindness will help prevent this in the future. I guess my point is this: show kindness and express love. We don't know how much a small thing like a smile or holding the door open can make a difference, especially to someone who's been ostracized and outcast. Do the good you can, where you can, in whatever way you can. Maybe that can be the legacy from this tragedy.