The last few years of my life have been characterized by huge changes. I graduated from college, got engaged, got married, switched jobs a few times, got pregnant, started grad school, had Ella, bought a house, got pregnant again, bought a van, had Amelia, started my internship. My roles are always evolving. I think that in some odd way, change has become a constant in my life. It began in college, with classes changing each semester and moving a few times a year. It's an oxymoron, that change has become familiar to me. But we only have a few more changes (graduation and my job search) and then things will probably not change as much for a while. No more school for a while, no plans to move, no plans to have more children, etc. Obviously with two young girls, things will still be constantly changing, but the changes won't be as big and all-encompassing as they have been. And I'm looking forward to it.
From day to day and week to week, our lives follow definite patterns and routines. For the most part, the girls wake up, nap, and go to bed at the same time. We also eat meals and do activities on a pretty regular schedule. (To be honest, I don't plan activities for the girls. Ella brings me the bag of blocks when she wants them opened and will go sit at the table when she wants to color. But she already seems to be a creature of habit and tends to do the same activities at roughly the same time each day.) Everything I've read says that structure is important for little kids to feel safe and comfortable. Since our girls are generally happy and seem well-adjusted, it seems to be true.
My days, partly due to so much of my day overlapping with the girls' day, also follow a pretty set pattern. We get up and eat breakfast. We play and I check Facebook and the internet in the morning. Around noon we eat lunch - usually fish sticks for Ella and a Lean Cuisine for me. Amelia still gets a bottle, along with some Cheerios and baby food. At 1:30, Ella goes down for a nap. Shortly after, I feed Amelia again and try to get her to nap. Once she's asleep and I lay her down too, I work out. I do different workouts on different days, but I even have those scheduled out. I eat a banana and stretch, finish my water, and take a shower. Then the girls get up from their naps and we play until Steve gets home at 6:35. Then we eat dinner and all four of us play on the floor until 8:30 when we get Ella ready for bed. That's another set routine - change into a pull-up, pick up the toys, read a book, give kisses, brush her teeth, and put her in bed. Once she's in bed, Steve or I put Amelia to sleep and we talk or watch tv until Amelia is out for the night and we can lay her down. Then we go to bed.
It changes a bit on the days I have my internship or class. If I have my internship, Linda babysits the girls and my workout gets bumped to the evening after Ella is in bed. If I have class, Leslie comes over to babysit the girls, from around the time I finish my workout and take a shower until Steve gets home from work. Weekends are different, because Steve is home during the day and we usually have plans at some point.
The constant that has become most important to me personally is my exercise. It began as a necessary way to lose the baby weight. I also count calories and have lost 45 lbs in the past 6 months. I not only lost the weight I gained during my pregnancies, I've lost an additional 21 lbs and can fit into my college clothes again. I'm thrilled with the results. But exercise has become more than a chore to fit into my weekdays. Although I can't say I necessarily look forward to the workout, I look forward to how I feel after finishing my workout. I feel calmer and less stressed and frustrated. It has become my stress reliever and my much-needed "mommy time." Some days my workout and shower are the only time I have to myself and it allows me to productively blow off steam and burn off frustration. I am a definite introvert and need some time to myself to recharge. Exercise is the best way for me to do that. Steve can tell a difference in my mood on the days when I can't manage to get a workout in before he gets home. With two young girls who always seem to need something, I really value my workouts. Otherwise I am a very frustrated introvert.
Earlier this week, Amelia would not nap unless I was holding her. And she wouldn't tolerate being penned into the den with all her toys. Seeing me was not enough; I had to be holding her. Since our day had started early, I had really been looking forward to my workout. Not to mention Amelia had dumped my mug of coffee on herself that morning, resulting in a crying baby to soothe (no burns though), a mess to clean up, laundry to do, and no coffee for me. Luckily Steve understands that I need alone time, so he took the girls into the spare bedroom with him when he got home so I could workout in peace. I felt much better afterward and we had a peaceful evening.
With young kids, routine is vital to life going as smoothly as it possibly can. Both for kids and for mom.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Sisterly love
The girls have been so sweet lately. The last few days they've both napped pretty well and so they wake up about the same time. This has also happened in the morning. Usually Amelia wakes up a little before Ella and she'll play for a little bit before she gets upset. Then Ella will wake up and start talking to her and Amelia calms down. The next thing I know, they're making each other giggle from their cribs. So sweet.
One day Amelia woke up much earlier than Ella. When Ella woke up and I got her out of bed, she pointed to Amelia's crib and said, "Ayiya." (She likes to remind me to get Amelia up too.) So I explained that Amelia wasn't in her crib and she had been up for a while but we still walked over and looked into the empty crib. Then I picked Ella up and we started down the stairs. The whole way down, Ella was calling, "Ayiya! Where are you? Ayiya!" When we got to the bottom and she saw Amelia sitting on the floor, she pointed and said, "Look! Ayiya!" In the couple days since that incident, Ella now says, "Amia."
Ella also shares with Amelia now. I think originally part of the reason was that she had figured out that if she gives Amelia toys, Amelia doesn't try to take her toys. Very clever. She discovered this is also true with food so she usually gives Amelia part of what she's eating or her sippy cup so Amelia doesn't take the entire plate. Most of the time we try to keep this a bit safer by giving Amelia a handful of Cheerios when we give Ella a snack. They're soft enough she can gum them and she absolutely loves that she gets "real" food like Ella. We also bought her a transition bottle that has a soft sippy cup nipple so she can have her own sippy cup too. She likes to fling Cheerios across the coffee table at Amelia and say, "Here you go."
Yet another day Amelia toppled over and hit her head on the floor. This happens a lot since she's cruising and trying to stand on her own. Most of the time she's fine, just a little upset. On this particular day, she fell and started to cry. As I was getting up and asking, "Are you okay?" Ella turned around and shrieked, "Awe you awight?! Awe you awight?!" She was so concerned. The whole thing was very sweet.
Back when Amelia was born, Ella ignored her. We'd try to take pictures of Amelia sitting between Ella's legs leaning back against her and Ella would try to shove her away. I knew this would get better in time and was relieved she was not trying to hurt Amelia. Eventually she would acknowledge Amelia and started giving her "kisses" before bed when we asked her to. Then Amelia started moving around on her own and Ella would climb onto the couch to avoid Amelia and her toy-stealing ways. In the last week or so they've started to play together at times and Ella seems to actually like Amelia and isn't just tolerating her. Since they're only 17 months apart, we hoped they would eventually become friends. I know they will still fight, but it's nice to see that bond starting to form.
One day Amelia woke up much earlier than Ella. When Ella woke up and I got her out of bed, she pointed to Amelia's crib and said, "Ayiya." (She likes to remind me to get Amelia up too.) So I explained that Amelia wasn't in her crib and she had been up for a while but we still walked over and looked into the empty crib. Then I picked Ella up and we started down the stairs. The whole way down, Ella was calling, "Ayiya! Where are you? Ayiya!" When we got to the bottom and she saw Amelia sitting on the floor, she pointed and said, "Look! Ayiya!" In the couple days since that incident, Ella now says, "Amia."
Ella also shares with Amelia now. I think originally part of the reason was that she had figured out that if she gives Amelia toys, Amelia doesn't try to take her toys. Very clever. She discovered this is also true with food so she usually gives Amelia part of what she's eating or her sippy cup so Amelia doesn't take the entire plate. Most of the time we try to keep this a bit safer by giving Amelia a handful of Cheerios when we give Ella a snack. They're soft enough she can gum them and she absolutely loves that she gets "real" food like Ella. We also bought her a transition bottle that has a soft sippy cup nipple so she can have her own sippy cup too. She likes to fling Cheerios across the coffee table at Amelia and say, "Here you go."
Yet another day Amelia toppled over and hit her head on the floor. This happens a lot since she's cruising and trying to stand on her own. Most of the time she's fine, just a little upset. On this particular day, she fell and started to cry. As I was getting up and asking, "Are you okay?" Ella turned around and shrieked, "Awe you awight?! Awe you awight?!" She was so concerned. The whole thing was very sweet.
Back when Amelia was born, Ella ignored her. We'd try to take pictures of Amelia sitting between Ella's legs leaning back against her and Ella would try to shove her away. I knew this would get better in time and was relieved she was not trying to hurt Amelia. Eventually she would acknowledge Amelia and started giving her "kisses" before bed when we asked her to. Then Amelia started moving around on her own and Ella would climb onto the couch to avoid Amelia and her toy-stealing ways. In the last week or so they've started to play together at times and Ella seems to actually like Amelia and isn't just tolerating her. Since they're only 17 months apart, we hoped they would eventually become friends. I know they will still fight, but it's nice to see that bond starting to form.
Playing with the blocks together.
Ella sharing her Cheerios with Amelia.
Amelia watching Backyardigans like Ella does.
The coveted sippy cup. And her bottle.
Eating Cheerios together.
Ella sharing her Cheerios with Amelia.
Amelia watching Backyardigans like Ella does.
The coveted sippy cup. And her bottle.
Eating Cheerios together.Sunday, January 11, 2009
The fun of parenting
Parenting is more work than I would have imagined but it's also much more fun. Things that adults don't normally do are acceptable to do if you do them with your child. Plus there's the added benefit of seeing the childlike joy Ella and Amelia get learning something new. So here's a partial list of things I have either been reintroduced to or things that are more fun re-experienced with with kids.
- Coloring. Ella loves to color and loves it even more if I stand there and either color with her or draw something for her to color. Thankfully, my rusty doodling skills are good enough that she can tell what I drew.
- Sledding. So far it's just in our yard but Ella loves it and I now have a new excuse to play in the snow.
- Christmas. The gift part of Christmas loses its sparkle as we get older, but it's so much fun to watch the girls open gifts and play with their new toys. I think this was the best Christmas I can remember (minus the week of sickness), partly because I got a few great gifts but mainly because the girls enjoyed it and we had a lot of good time with family.
- Cutting out Christmas cookies. It went much faster after Ella went to bed, but she had a blast pushing the cutters into the dough. She announced "teddy bear!" almost every time and eventually decided they were Care Bears.
- The first snow. I love it when Ella stands at the window and cries "'no!" (She doesn't pronounce the S.)
- First steps or walking in general. So far Amelia is crawling and cruising but I know those first few steps are coming soon. But let's face it, it's just not exciting if I walk across the room.
- Dancing. Ella has started dancing more lately and Amelia bobs to music. And they giggle when I dance around.
- Building with blocks. Steve loves to sit on the floor with the girls and build things. Ella knocks his creations over once he's done and Amelia gums the blocks, but they all have fun.
- Playing on the floor. It doesn't matter what we're doing, both girls LOVE it when Steve and I sit on the floor with them.
- Reading books I had when I was little. So much fun! Ella loves all books and her favorite is Rainbow Brite. There are toys too (Reid bought Amelia a Pound Puppy for Christmas and I was sooo excited!) and I'm sure there will be games in a couple years.
- Just goofing around. I do things in public now to make the girls giggle that I wouldn't have been caught dead doing a couple years ago. (That sentence doesn't make much sense. Hm. I make faces, dance, sing, and wiggle around for a smile or giggle now and I would have been so embarrassed to do those things in the middle of a store before.)
There are so many more things I can't think of right now. Everything is different and new when you're looking at it with a little kid. It makes everything fun and special and interesting. Life is full. Who knew kids would be so much fun and give me permission to be a kid again too?
- Coloring. Ella loves to color and loves it even more if I stand there and either color with her or draw something for her to color. Thankfully, my rusty doodling skills are good enough that she can tell what I drew.
- Sledding. So far it's just in our yard but Ella loves it and I now have a new excuse to play in the snow.
- Christmas. The gift part of Christmas loses its sparkle as we get older, but it's so much fun to watch the girls open gifts and play with their new toys. I think this was the best Christmas I can remember (minus the week of sickness), partly because I got a few great gifts but mainly because the girls enjoyed it and we had a lot of good time with family.
- Cutting out Christmas cookies. It went much faster after Ella went to bed, but she had a blast pushing the cutters into the dough. She announced "teddy bear!" almost every time and eventually decided they were Care Bears.
- The first snow. I love it when Ella stands at the window and cries "'no!" (She doesn't pronounce the S.)
- First steps or walking in general. So far Amelia is crawling and cruising but I know those first few steps are coming soon. But let's face it, it's just not exciting if I walk across the room.
- Dancing. Ella has started dancing more lately and Amelia bobs to music. And they giggle when I dance around.
- Building with blocks. Steve loves to sit on the floor with the girls and build things. Ella knocks his creations over once he's done and Amelia gums the blocks, but they all have fun.
- Playing on the floor. It doesn't matter what we're doing, both girls LOVE it when Steve and I sit on the floor with them.
- Reading books I had when I was little. So much fun! Ella loves all books and her favorite is Rainbow Brite. There are toys too (Reid bought Amelia a Pound Puppy for Christmas and I was sooo excited!) and I'm sure there will be games in a couple years.
- Just goofing around. I do things in public now to make the girls giggle that I wouldn't have been caught dead doing a couple years ago. (That sentence doesn't make much sense. Hm. I make faces, dance, sing, and wiggle around for a smile or giggle now and I would have been so embarrassed to do those things in the middle of a store before.)
There are so many more things I can't think of right now. Everything is different and new when you're looking at it with a little kid. It makes everything fun and special and interesting. Life is full. Who knew kids would be so much fun and give me permission to be a kid again too?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
My Mom
When I was little, I was a big fan of Amy Grant. I had all her tapes (it was the 80's) and when I was 9, my family went to Creation in Pennsylvania. Amy Grant was the final act on the final night and my mom stayed with me so I could see her while Dad packed up the camper and the van. It probably wasn't a big deal to my mom but it was a big deal to me. I can think of a lot of memories like this one, where Mom did something relatively small for me but inconvenient for her. I think it might just be her nature, but those times mean a lot to me and were a good example for me of how to be a good mom.
My mom is one of the sweetest, most unassuming, gentle people I know. She very rarely says anything bad about anyone and it tends to be comical when she does because it's so out of character for her. She works hard to take care of us and always did her best to make things special for us. She has a great relationship with her mom and sister and had a great one with her brother too, which again set a good example for us kids. It was always fun to see Mom giggling with Aunt Marie over something that no one else understood. She has always been good about explaining why we were in trouble or couldn't do something or have something (Dad was too, but this post is about Mom). They handled our transitions to independence and adulthood gracefully and I have loved seeing them as grandparents. I really appreciate how they've allowed us space but are always there to help when we ask. To this day, the best compliment I have been given was that I have my mom's heart and my dad's spirit. I think I've learned to appreciate everything they did more, especially Mom with her quiet ways, since I've become a parent. She is exactly what a mom should be.
Over the past week, the first line of an old Amy Grant song has been running through my head: Laura loves her little family. I looked up the rest of the words today and the song expresses my sentiments. I also think it describes Mom perfectly.
Saved By Love by Amy Grant
Laura loves her little family
And she's the kind of woman who loves them with her life
But sometimes in the evening
When the world rests on her shoulders
With four walls pressing in
She'll close her eyes
Ohh
It's not like she misses being younger
Though she never was in Vogue magazine or on tv
Her husband loves her dearly
And more than shows her clearly
Kiss her little baby girl
Laura, she's the queen of the world
Can't imagine ever leaving now
Now that she's been saved by love
Listen to her quiet heart singing loud
Laura, she's been saved by love
I know that she's been saved by love
Saved by love
There's nothing quite like my family's love to warm me
Nothing short of death is ever gonna leave me cold
Well, still at times it's lonely
But through it all it only
Makes me love Jesus more
And this is what He came here for
Can't imagine ever leaving now
Now that I've been saved by love
He's gone and turned my crazy world back around
And I've been saved by love
I know that I've been saved by love
Saved by love
I'm saved by love
That's right
And nothing I can say
Nothing I can do, nothing I can say
We're all just saved by love
Nothing you can say, nothing you can do
Only love can say, only love can do
Only love can say.
I'm saved by love.
Being a mom can be a thankless job at times. It is rewarding but tiring. Too often moms get the blame but not the credit for how their kids turn out. So, Mom, thank you for everything you've done for me and for the example you set for me. I love you!
One of my favorite pictures of Mom.
My mom is one of the sweetest, most unassuming, gentle people I know. She very rarely says anything bad about anyone and it tends to be comical when she does because it's so out of character for her. She works hard to take care of us and always did her best to make things special for us. She has a great relationship with her mom and sister and had a great one with her brother too, which again set a good example for us kids. It was always fun to see Mom giggling with Aunt Marie over something that no one else understood. She has always been good about explaining why we were in trouble or couldn't do something or have something (Dad was too, but this post is about Mom). They handled our transitions to independence and adulthood gracefully and I have loved seeing them as grandparents. I really appreciate how they've allowed us space but are always there to help when we ask. To this day, the best compliment I have been given was that I have my mom's heart and my dad's spirit. I think I've learned to appreciate everything they did more, especially Mom with her quiet ways, since I've become a parent. She is exactly what a mom should be.
Over the past week, the first line of an old Amy Grant song has been running through my head: Laura loves her little family. I looked up the rest of the words today and the song expresses my sentiments. I also think it describes Mom perfectly.
Saved By Love by Amy Grant
Laura loves her little family
And she's the kind of woman who loves them with her life
But sometimes in the evening
When the world rests on her shoulders
With four walls pressing in
She'll close her eyes
Ohh
It's not like she misses being younger
Though she never was in Vogue magazine or on tv
Her husband loves her dearly
And more than shows her clearly
Kiss her little baby girl
Laura, she's the queen of the world
Can't imagine ever leaving now
Now that she's been saved by love
Listen to her quiet heart singing loud
Laura, she's been saved by love
I know that she's been saved by love
Saved by love
There's nothing quite like my family's love to warm me
Nothing short of death is ever gonna leave me cold
Well, still at times it's lonely
But through it all it only
Makes me love Jesus more
And this is what He came here for
Can't imagine ever leaving now
Now that I've been saved by love
He's gone and turned my crazy world back around
And I've been saved by love
I know that I've been saved by love
Saved by love
I'm saved by love
That's right
And nothing I can say
Nothing I can do, nothing I can say
We're all just saved by love
Nothing you can say, nothing you can do
Only love can say, only love can do
Only love can say.
I'm saved by love.
Being a mom can be a thankless job at times. It is rewarding but tiring. Too often moms get the blame but not the credit for how their kids turn out. So, Mom, thank you for everything you've done for me and for the example you set for me. I love you!
One of my favorite pictures of Mom.
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