Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Change and routine

The last few years of my life have been characterized by huge changes. I graduated from college, got engaged, got married, switched jobs a few times, got pregnant, started grad school, had Ella, bought a house, got pregnant again, bought a van, had Amelia, started my internship. My roles are always evolving. I think that in some odd way, change has become a constant in my life. It began in college, with classes changing each semester and moving a few times a year. It's an oxymoron, that change has become familiar to me. But we only have a few more changes (graduation and my job search) and then things will probably not change as much for a while. No more school for a while, no plans to move, no plans to have more children, etc. Obviously with two young girls, things will still be constantly changing, but the changes won't be as big and all-encompassing as they have been. And I'm looking forward to it.

From day to day and week to week, our lives follow definite patterns and routines. For the most part, the girls wake up, nap, and go to bed at the same time. We also eat meals and do activities on a pretty regular schedule. (To be honest, I don't plan activities for the girls. Ella brings me the bag of blocks when she wants them opened and will go sit at the table when she wants to color. But she already seems to be a creature of habit and tends to do the same activities at roughly the same time each day.) Everything I've read says that structure is important for little kids to feel safe and comfortable. Since our girls are generally happy and seem well-adjusted, it seems to be true.

My days, partly due to so much of my day overlapping with the girls' day, also follow a pretty set pattern. We get up and eat breakfast. We play and I check Facebook and the internet in the morning. Around noon we eat lunch - usually fish sticks for Ella and a Lean Cuisine for me. Amelia still gets a bottle, along with some Cheerios and baby food. At 1:30, Ella goes down for a nap. Shortly after, I feed Amelia again and try to get her to nap. Once she's asleep and I lay her down too, I work out. I do different workouts on different days, but I even have those scheduled out. I eat a banana and stretch, finish my water, and take a shower. Then the girls get up from their naps and we play until Steve gets home at 6:35. Then we eat dinner and all four of us play on the floor until 8:30 when we get Ella ready for bed. That's another set routine - change into a pull-up, pick up the toys, read a book, give kisses, brush her teeth, and put her in bed. Once she's in bed, Steve or I put Amelia to sleep and we talk or watch tv until Amelia is out for the night and we can lay her down. Then we go to bed.

It changes a bit on the days I have my internship or class. If I have my internship, Linda babysits the girls and my workout gets bumped to the evening after Ella is in bed. If I have class, Leslie comes over to babysit the girls, from around the time I finish my workout and take a shower until Steve gets home from work. Weekends are different, because Steve is home during the day and we usually have plans at some point.

The constant that has become most important to me personally is my exercise. It began as a necessary way to lose the baby weight. I also count calories and have lost 45 lbs in the past 6 months. I not only lost the weight I gained during my pregnancies, I've lost an additional 21 lbs and can fit into my college clothes again. I'm thrilled with the results. But exercise has become more than a chore to fit into my weekdays. Although I can't say I necessarily look forward to the workout, I look forward to how I feel after finishing my workout. I feel calmer and less stressed and frustrated. It has become my stress reliever and my much-needed "mommy time." Some days my workout and shower are the only time I have to myself and it allows me to productively blow off steam and burn off frustration. I am a definite introvert and need some time to myself to recharge. Exercise is the best way for me to do that. Steve can tell a difference in my mood on the days when I can't manage to get a workout in before he gets home. With two young girls who always seem to need something, I really value my workouts. Otherwise I am a very frustrated introvert.

Earlier this week, Amelia would not nap unless I was holding her. And she wouldn't tolerate being penned into the den with all her toys. Seeing me was not enough; I had to be holding her. Since our day had started early, I had really been looking forward to my workout. Not to mention Amelia had dumped my mug of coffee on herself that morning, resulting in a crying baby to soothe (no burns though), a mess to clean up, laundry to do, and no coffee for me. Luckily Steve understands that I need alone time, so he took the girls into the spare bedroom with him when he got home so I could workout in peace. I felt much better afterward and we had a peaceful evening.

With young kids, routine is vital to life going as smoothly as it possibly can. Both for kids and for mom.

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