And I'm grumpy again

It's been a rough week. I'm now 12 weeks pregnant, so I should be feeling better, right? Wrong. I feel worse than ever. I threw up Monday morning. I've felt awful the rest of the week. Today I felt like I could barely choke down my lunch.

This morning Amelia kept dropping her sippy cup of milk on the floor, on purpose. I got annoyed quickly because it spills easily. But oh no, the third time she dropped it, after I told her to stop, the lid popped off and chocolate milk exploded all over the living room floor. It's carpeted. I was mad. I yelled. She cried. No time out or punishment because she was so upset already.

Then Ella, who should be ready to potty train since she's almost three, had a dirty diaper. Not a big deal. But when I had the diaper off her and was cleaning her up, she let loose and I had to clean up a puddle. I was even more annoyed (and relieved I had bothered to grab the changing mat).

Then my boss's assistant who does the scheduling called. Since I felt awful when she called, I called her back a little later. Now, I asked for this week off. I'm not a regular employee, so this shouldn't be a problem, right? You'd think. In fact, I've turned down part-time and full-time positions there because I wanted to have more flexibility to say no when I don't want to work. But I still get called all the time to go in. I know I'm fortunate to have a good job and plenty of hours. But I also know my limits and with the pregnancy hormones coursing through my body, 12 hours a week is definitely my limit. And this glorious week (in which I of course seem to be coming down with some bug) was my week OFF. No work. Sigh. She asked me if I could work Friday. I said no, my babysitter isn't available on Fridays. She also said they had some questions on a triage I did and the agency I referred this client to keeps calling about it. Sooooo, I'm going in for a little while tonight to fix whatever questions they have. Bah. I swear, if I'm a fill-in employee, how is it that I'm so indispensable that I can't get one week off? No wonder people burn out so fast in the mental health field.

No break for the pregnant and exhausted.

Little unexpected things make life

I've been grumpy lately. Part of it is pregnancy hormones, part of it is not sleeping well, part is just, well, irritability. It often seems like a pretty even balance of good things and annoying, messy things. Overall my life is great. Steve is employed and doesn't hate it, we have insurance. I'm working and have the potential to take a full-time position if we needed me to. We have two beautiful, healthy, polite, smart little girls. We have another healthy baby on the way. We have two running cars and a nice house and more toys and clothes than our girls could ever use. We are all healthy and so are our families. But I've been irritable.

Tonight something small and unexpected happened. Steve was changing the laundry and his cell phone rang. So I grabbed it and answered it. It was his sister, Annie, who moved to Arizona back in July. It was just so unexpected and suddenly I was all excited. I think my excitement to talk to her caught her off-guard, lol. I only talked to her for maybe a minute before handing off the phone to Steve, but somehow, that little interaction improved my mood. Funny, huh? Annie, if you're reading this, I'm glad you called for Steve's computer expertise and I got to say hi. Thanks for surprising me. :)

Tracy is 24!

Happy birthday Tracy! My beautiful middle sister is 24 today. She is a good wife and great mom and I'm proud of her.

We didn't always get along. We just did not understand each other when we were little. She cried a lot, so I always got in trouble when I picked on her. I played with Barbies and caught frogs. She carried her baby dolls everywhere. She'd steal my toys so I'd steal them back plus some of hers. We fought over everything, sometimes just because the other one wanted it. This continued through elementary school and middle school. In high school her friends spied on me and my boyfriend. I yelled at them. She got mad at me. Then senior year happened. Leslie (our baby sister) had major back surgery a month after my boyfriend dumped me. I was lonely, we were all a bit scared, and we pulled together. We started hanging out together. Sometimes. We didn't always get along, but things improved.

Then I left for college. And they missed me. And I missed them. So they'd visit me and we'd hang out when I came home. When Tracy started dating, she'd call me for advice. We suddenly had more in common. Then she graduated and we had even more in common. We talked on the phone a lot. We were becoming actual friends. Then she met Donovan, I graduated from college, and then went out on my first date with Steve. Even more in common!

About 6 weeks later, we were both engaged (five days apart). We initially said no to a double wedding. After much discussion, we realized we'd have people driving from all over the state for our weddings twice in the middle of winter. A lot of the same people. So we decided to have one wedding. Best decision ever. Now, a lot of people have told me there's no way they could share their wedding day and the spotlight with someone else. None of the four of us are spotlight people, so that wasn't a problem. And we're all very agreeable. Tracy had her heart set on certain things and I had mine set on other certain things. It all worked out very well. The best part is that my sister and friend was next to me for the whole thing, experiencing all the same things. She understood all of it. And we have this great bond that wouldn't have been as deep otherwise. We shared one of the best days of our lives.

So love, marriage, then babies, right? And we did it almost that quickly. I was pregnant two months after we got married. Tracy found out she was pregnant about six weeks later. Unfortunately, Tracy had a miscarriage. I sobbed. I immediately called and left her a message telling her how sorry I was and I was here for her but would wait for her to call me when she was ready. The last thing I wanted to do was make things harder for her. I was incredibly scared that our special bond was gone. I prayed she would conceive again before I had my baby, thinking that would make it easier for her. It didn't happen.

When Ella was born, Tracy and Donovan came to visit a few days later, right before Thanksgiving. She held Ella, he didn't. I was okay with whatever was good for them. I knew they were happy for us, even if it stung for them. On Christmas Eve, Tracy found out she was pregnant. This time things went much better, and Chloe just turned two. She's an adorable firecracker. Tracy has her hands full with her and her baby sister Haylie. Btw, Tracy gave birth to Chloe after 30 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing, without any meds. She is seriously one of the strongest people I know, and Chloe's birth is just one example of it.

Happy birthday little sis! I love you!

Small changes

Today feels like fall. I big fuzzy heart fall. The changing leaves, the crisp air, cooler temps, the coming holidays. Jeans and hoodies at football games. I love it.

My girls are cute. They sleep with certain blankets, dolls, and gloworms. They get upset if for some reason they don't have these. Last night, Mia got very upset when Steve tried to take her pink doll. The thing looked like it got caught in the mechanism for the side of the crib and was streaked with grease. So she kept it last night. This morning I was sneaky and carried it downstairs and washed it without Mia noticing. Clean and dry by nap time. Mia went upstairs without the doll while I was changing Ella's diaper, so Ella carried the baby doll upstairs and gave it to her. Mia said thank you. They're good sisters (we'll ignore the fact that 20 minutes earlier Ella was hoarding blocks and pushed Mia).

I'm now 10 weeks pregnant and my symptoms are changing a bit. This makes me wonder if my original dates may have been correct and I'm actually 12 weeks and exiting the first trimester, but we'll see what the doc says next Monday. My nausea has subsided slightly, so I have to eat maybe every hour and a half as opposed to every hour. I feel more tired. My appetite has increased. I'm feeling more affectionate towards Steve again but less kind towards the general public. My forehead is dry and flaky, while my chin is still breaking out. Weird, but most of pregnancy is.

I'm still working. Time with adults and the money is nice but I am thrilled to have today off. I've been offered a full time position (twice now) but part time is pretty ideal for our current situation.

In sad news, Doug and Linda's golden retriever was hit by a car this morning. Biscuit was about 3 years old (a little older than Ella). She is now buried in the backyard near the dogwood tree. I'm sad for them because I know how hard it is to lose a pet. Oddly enough, Tracy and Donovan's older dog was also hit by a car last week. Doc is okay. He has a broken front leg and a nice cast, but is still trying to visit the neighbor's dog.

The girls are upstairs for naps now so I'm going to enjoy my down time and watch a little tv. Then I might try out that prenatal workout video I borrowed from Tracy...we'll see how ambitious I am today.

The change for 2010

Our family has had one big event each year. We got married in 2005, had Ella in 2006, bought our house in 2007, had Amelia in 2008, and I graduated with my masters in 2009. We thought 2010 would pass without anything quite that big, which was okay with us. We thought wrong. I'm 9 1/2 weeks pregnant with our third child, due April 13, 2010.

Without going into a lot of detail, my usually very regular cycle was messed up in July, so we were careful. At the end of the month, I bought some pregnancy tests, mainly to ease my mind because I didn't think there was any possible way I was pregnant. Wrong again. I took the test the day before I was supposed to get my period. Steve was at work and Ella was watching me and talking to me while I was waiting for the negative result. I felt a bit faint when I saw it was positive. Ella kept chattering. I got myself together and took the girls downstairs like any other morning. Steve always calls on his breaks, but he got his morning break late that morning. I was going nuts waiting for him to call. Finally he did and when I answered and said, "Finally! I thought you were never going to call!" he asked, "What's going on?" So I told him I took the test and it was positive. He was as stunned as me. Somehow we got through the day and I bought a 3-pack of tests that night. I took one that night, one the next afternoon, and one the evening after that. All immediately positive.

With my messed up cycle, we weren't sure when the baby was conceived. So after my initial doctor's appointment, he scheduled an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. The ultrasound showed the heartbeat and a baby measuring 7 weeks 3 days, putting our EDD at April 13, 2010. (That's two days before Amelia turns two.) I've had a fair number of symptoms so far, the most prominent being nausea. I've avoided actually getting sick, but feel nauseated most of every day.

So if I'm 9 1/2 weeks, why are we telling now rather than waiting until 12 weeks? Because we've known for 6 weeks already. And depending on the day/time of day/particular symptoms, I look pregnant. I'm mainly in maternity pants now - regular ones (unless I wear 2-3 sizes bigger than I was wearing) are too uncomfortable.

8 weeks 6 days

After adjusting to the idea, we like the idea of three kids. Although we didn't feel incomplete before, three kids feel like a complete family. We're still nervous. This will make three kids in three and a half years. Ella isn't potty trained yet. We were able to sleep through the night and were finished with bottles and bassinets and baby carriers. But I am glad we're having them close together. I don't think I'd want to return to cribs and diapers and car seats if we were out of that stage. But in case anyone is wondering, this will be our last. We have plans to ensure that. Three kids, especially so close together, is plenty.

In the meantime, I'm working part time and trying to feel halfway normal. At least I won't have class to deal with this time, right?

Sick kid

Last weekend was a long, holiday weekend. We had plans to go to my parents' house. Unfortunately I had to work until 7:00pm on Friday, so we packed that night to leave in the morning. Things were going well until Steve called me when I got out of the shower. Ella threw up. Other than being upset, she seemed okay. So we finished packing and left. We went to the bank and then Dunkin' Donuts and headed out of town. Ella still seemed okay but wasn't eating her donut hole. Around the time we got to Mason, she started saying, "No, mommy! No!" and threw up all over herself. Luckily we had a roll of paper towels in the van (from another eventful trip involving spilled coffee and vomit) so we stopped and mopped her and her carseat up and changed her clothes. We continued traveling, hoping things would get better from there. Once again, Ella seemed fine for a while. Then she said, "No, no, no!" and threw up again. I was trying to use paper towels to sop up the mess and she kept whipping them off her and onto the floor. So we stopped again, stripped the extra pad off the carseat, cleaned her up, changed her clothes, etc again. I went into the gas station and bought saltines and tums because I wasn't feeling so good now either. Luckily the rest of the trip was quiet and we only had another 20-25 minutes from the second stop. We washed everything from her carseat and everything she'd worn so far that day. Ella was fine after that.

That night we all went out to Old Country Buffet with almost everyone on Mom's side of the family. Grandma's birthday was Sunday and she turned 90. It was a great time and so nice to see family again. After dinner we went back to Mom and Dad's house for cake and ice cream and gifts. We got pictures of all the great-grandkids with Grandma. We would have done the grandkids too, but we were missing two. My cousins' kids are a little bit older and they had a great time playing with all our little girls. Dad of course had a great time showing off all his toys, especially his bikes.

Sunday was a quieter day. Tracy and I did a little shopping in the afternoon and then Leslie came later in the evening. We celebrated Chloe's birthday that night. The girls loved the cupcakes, party hats, and star sunglasses.

Monday started out with all the guys leaving to go golfing. Mia was awake so we got up and let Ella sleep in. I finally checked on Ella and she was awake and just laying in bed still. So I carried her out and changed her pull-up, which was almost completely dry. She felt warm too and seemed a bit lethargic. I got her a cup of milk and some chocolate chip Teddy Grahams and she sat on the floor eating. And then it happened. She threw up, all over herself and the floor. My sisters helped me clean her up and get her clothes changed (she refused to sit up). We got her a cup of watered down Gatorade and a bucket. I moved her so she could see the movie on the tv and she barely moved for a good hour. By the time she drank most of her Gatorade, she got up and was moving around a little and seemed fine. Sure enough, she didn't throw up again. She barely ate anything during the day but I wasn't about to push food on her and she was drinking fluids. The trip home was uneventful, but we had extra plastic bags and a roll of paper towels ready just in case. We did realize partway home that Tracy had left her wallet (minus her license and debit card) in our van, but things worked out Tuesday that she got it back that day.

Whatever it was, I'm glad it seems to be gone. It seemed like something just didn't settle right Saturday morning and then riding in the car made it worse (although she doesn't usually get carsick). But with getting sick again on Monday, I don't have a clue. If it was some sort of bug, I think she would have been sick all weekend or it would have been a one day thing. I'm just glad no one else caught it this time.