Insomnia

Last night was a bad night. Apparently, when pregnant, a salad for dinner followed by a large latte is a bad idea. Not enough food followed by caffeine. And I did have a bowl of cereal later, but it wasn't enough substantial food. As a result I had a horrible stomach ache. I even thought I may get sick. I didn't. But I felt pretty miserable and curled up on the couch for a while being heading to bed. I fell asleep around 11:30pm.

Another reason a latte in the evening is bad when pregnant: it's a diuretic. I woke up around 1am and had to use the bathroom. Then I couldn't get back to sleep because of my growling stomach. So I got up and ate some poptarts. I tried to go back to bed around 2am. Didn't work. I was wide awake. And then my mind started wandering. I'm a bit frustrated by a friend who, despite repeated voicemails, Facebook messages, and wall posts on my part, has yet to even acknowledge I am still alive, let alone pregnant again. So from there I got upset, which made it even harder to clear my mind and get back to sleep. I touched Steve's shoulder and it woke him up. I didn't mean to wake him up, but sometimes just touching his arm can make me feel a little bit better. He was not happy I woke him up (who would be? by then it was almost 3). So I came back downstairs, crying because I'm hormonal and was exhausted but not tired. I watched some tv and decided not to go back upstairs because it would wake him up and he needed his sleep. My stomach was a bit upset again. By the time that passed, I was starving again so I had another bowl of cereal. Which upset my stomach. I finally went back upstairs around 6, because I knew he'd be getting up for work soon anyhow. Climbing into bed woke him up. He asked if he could help me with anything and I broke down and cried again. Sobbed for the next hour. Over everything. My frustration with my friend, being sick 90% of the time, being emotional, being tired but not able to sleep, my worry that people will be disappointed if this is another girl, and a whole slew of other things. Steve offered to stay home with me again today so I could sleep in. Very sweet of him, but I didn't want him to use up too much of his sick time this close together. So at 7am, after 1.5 hours of sleep and 6 hours of sleeplessness, Steve got up for work and I finally fell asleep.

As predicted, the girls were awake and shrieking with giggles by 8:15. I dozed a bit and got up with them at 8:45. I got a grand total of 3 hours of sleep last night. I was scheduled to work for 6 hours tonight. Since I got half that much sleep, I didn't think that was wise. So I called in and will take a nap when the girls do today.

Physically, my pregnancies are not especially difficult, other than my pelvis separating a few months early. Emotionally, my pregnancies are very difficult. I am very blessed that I don't have physical difficulties but I am not looking forward to five more months of this. And I'm not sad in the least that this will be the last time I experience this. The bright spot is increasing kicks and I'm hoping Steve can feel one soon. (There was a hard one I felt with my hand at 1:30 this morning, but I didn't think he'd appreciate me waking him up for that. Good thing too, the baby didn't kick again that hard.) And the ultrasound. Knowing more about the little person growing in me helps. With the holidays, the next couple months should go by fairly quickly. And then I'm down to about 10 weeks, 9 if the doctor induces early. I'm 17 weeks today so only 23 more to go. I hope I can sleep better. At least I know to avoid lattes now.