A Christmas Letter

Here it is, Christmas Eve again. Where did the time go? It's been a busy year at our house, but a good one.

Steve earned a promotion from IT Help Desk Analyst to Network Engineer in April. The new job is a challenge but he enjoys it. When he's not at work, he plays with the girls, experiments in the kitchen, fixes computers, and watches BBC America.

Paula was certified to teach Turbo Kick in March and began teaching in April. She was hired by a local dance studio to teach TK in October and loves doing that on the side. Otherwise, she cares for the girls and keeps the household running smoothly.

Ella turned five this year and started kindergarten. She loves school and can read a little bit already. She's like a sponge and just absorbs everything. She also began wearing glasses in August, which makes her look even older. She's as confident and independent as ever. She began taking ballet classes this fall and loves all arts and crafts.

Amelia turned three in April and likes to be Mommy's helper. She enjoys being the big sister while Ella is at school. Mia can write her name now and is mostly potty-trained (yay!). She started taking ballet classes this fall and it's one of her favorite things. She loves pretty things.

Nora turned one in April. In the last year, she's learned to walk, talk, and do so many other things. Nora adores music and will sing and dance. She also likes to pretend. She's a busy little girl but likes to cuddle with Mommy and Daddy.

For news with our extended family, we welcomed two new nieces this year; Madelyn in January and Meredith in October. There are also two new babies on the way; a nephew in February (our first!) and a baby in May (apparently baby wants to keep everyone guessing). Paula's grandma passed away in June at the age of 91. We miss her but are thankful we had a chance to say goodbye and she wasn't sick for long. With the loss of a loved one, there's always a deeper appreciation for family and the loved ones we still have.

Merry Christmas, everyone! And Happy New Year. We wish you all health and happiness and warm times with your loved ones.

With love,
The Scotts
Steve and Paula
Ella, Amelia, and Nora

The Thursday Sprint

Thursdays are busy. BUSY. Every other week is especially busy. I get up, get ready, get the girls ready, pack them into the van, and we head off to drop Ella off at school. From there, we either come home or go to MOPS. If we come home, it's a bit more relaxed, at least for a few hours. If we go to MOPS, I'm just moving more of the morning. We go through Tim Horton's for Timbits for the girls and decaf coffee for me and then go to the church. We unload, I distribute the girls, and I get to sit for a bit and talk to actual live adults! (If you are a stay at home mom, you understand how wonderful this is.) After a couple hours, I collect the girls, load them back into the van, drive home, and unload them. Then we eat lunch and then they go down for naps. At this point, I eat lunch, check FB, and sit. Then I workout (Thursday is usually ChaLEAN Extreme - heavy weights!) and then hop in the shower. I get ready again, get the girls up, and we hustle out the door to pick up Ella from school. Then we come home, get snacks, change diapers, and get the girls in their leotards. I make sure everything is in the diaper bag and we rush back out the door and off to ballet. I herd them through the parking lot, in the door, up the stairs, and to the waiting room. I make sure the girls are all dressed for it and off to their rooms. Then Nora and I sit. Or she runs around and I sit or chase her if she tries to leave the room. Finally, when they're done, I get their ballet slippers off, their shoes, sweats, and coats back on, and we head back down the hall, down the stairs, out the door, and back across the parking lot and load them back into the van. Then we go home. It's usually about 6:15 and Steve has dinner ready around the time we get home. And I collapse, lol. Steve handles bedtime and helps Ella make her lunch while I lay out clothes for the next day. Then Steve and I sit and catch up and maybe watch a little tv. He goes to bed earlier than I do. I should go to bed at the same time, but I love the quiet after everyone else is in bed. And on Thursdays, it's so nice to be alone and have quiet time without someone needing me or having to watch the clock.

So how did I have time to write this? Well, I haven't charged my BodyMediaFit in a few days so I'm waiting for that to finish. It just did, so I'm off and running. Happy Thursday everyone!

Thankfulness

Nora has had a cold lately. Because she's been congested, she hasn't slept very well, which means I haven't slept very well. She had her 18 month well-child check yesterday. Since she had a cough, the doctor checked her lungs and ears. Both were okay, but he did tell me to watch her cough and call if it got worse. Last night she went to bed okay and I went to bed early, figuring I wouldn't get to sleep all night. I was in bed by 10:30, early for me. As predicted, Nora woke up about 2:30 (I think. Nights of interrupted sleep start to run together.). We were back in bed shortly after 3. She whimpered in her sleep a few times but didn't really cry until about 6:30. We got up for the day then. She had that barky cough so I turned on the shower, cranked the hot water up, and shut the down. We sat in there for a while. I'm not sure how much it helped. I tried giving her juice but she didn't want it. I googled croup and took her outside, hoping the cool air would help. It didn't seem to. After continuing to hack and cry, she threw up a lot of phlegm - right into my hand. Miserable, but it seemed to help more than anything else had.

Finally it was 8 am and I called the doctor's office. They said to bring her back in. So I got all the girls dressed, dropped Ella off at school, and headed to the doctor's office for the second morning in a row. They took us back to a room within a few minutes and the nurse talked to us and said the doctor would be in shortly. Nora slept fitfully on me (honestly, I can't be very comfortable for her. I'm too short for her to stretch out.) and I almost fell asleep. Mia looked at magazines and explored the room. She did wonderfully. The doctor came in after about 45 minutes (well, we didn't have an appointment) and looked Nora over. He listened to her lungs, her throat, and checked her ears. One ear was pink - it had been clear yesterday. She also had a slight fever. He was concerned about her breathing so he had us get x-rays of her lungs.

That was more waiting. Nora would sleep on me for a bit, wake up and cry, and occasionally would stop and just whimper. The x-ray tech was wonderful and did a great job, but I hope we never have to do x-rays like that again. She put Nora in this contraption. We had to slip her legs into these holes and she straddled the table. Then I had to hold her arms over her head while we closed this clear plastic thing around her. It's effective for keeping little bodies straight and arms out of the way for chest x-rays but poor Nora was miserable. She just sobbed and kept reaching for me. Mia had to wear an apron and stand off to the side. She was very concerned about Nora and I had visions of her having vague memories of watching her baby sister in what looked like a torture device, complete with leather strap, while I stood there letting it happen. And I stood there in a lead apron holding Nora's hands and trying to comfort her as best I could without holding her. They took back and side shots and then we had to wait a minute for them to develop. The tech said it was easier to keep kids in there than put them back in there so we waited. A few had to be repeated and it felt like an eternity. Poor Nora gets this betrayed look when she's upset with me. I almost cried with her. But the x-rays were clear and we walked back to the exam room we had been in.

We waited a bit longer before the doctor came back in to explain the diagnosis: bronchiolitis. He said right now Nora's trachea is more inflamed and congested than her bronchi (is that right? I don't know.) but he wanted to treat it aggressively since Nora is so young and it came on so quickly. The prescription is basically a kiddie z-pack and steroids to help her breathe easier. He said to give her Tylenol too, for any fever and discomfort, and to keep him updated on her progress. By this time, we had been at the doctor's office for about two hours. I love our doctor. He's thorough, reassuring, and doesn't rush, even though we didn't have an appointment.

Since it was 11 am by then and none of us had eaten anything (Ella had a cereal bar on the way to school), we swung through Tim Horton's. I got coffee (extra large and NOT decaf) and tried to get an egg white breakfast sandwich and ordered Timbits (donut holes) for the girls. They were out of egg whites, so I ordered a regular breakfast sandwich. I pulled forward, paid, and took the coffee and Timbits. And I waited. Finally, the girl came back and asked if I needed something. I said my sandwich. Oh, she thought I didn't want one. Then she wandered away and the manager came to window and asked if she could help me. So I ordered my breakfast sandwich for the third time. I paid for it, got it, and we left. I love TH and I'm glad they usually do a better job than that. Although I have to say, if I'm having a rough morning already, they are out of what I try to order and/or mess up my order. I still say they're better than Starbucks or Biggby though.

We continued to Walgreens, where we once again waited for someone to notice us. Finally someone helped us. She said she was working on Nora's prescriptions and it would probably be 15-20 minutes. Of course. But at least we knew, so I turned off the van and gave Mia another Timbit. Nora was inconsolable again at this point. She didn't want the bottle of juice I had for her. She didn't want a donut. She wanted either a bottle of milk or me. She sat there crying and repeating, "Mamama" in the most pathetic voice possible. I ate my sandwich and sipped my hot coffee, wishing I had ordered an iced coffee and we could just get the prescriptions and go home already. I called Steve to update him on everything, they finally gave us the prescription (about 18 minutes from the time she told me 15-20 minutes), and we headed home, Nora crying the whole way.

We got home, got inside, and I tried to give Nora her meds. She drooled out some of the azithromycin and we both ended up sticky (side note: this is why I avoid giving my girls ibuprofen. It always ends up all over my hands - and I'm allergic. Like my throat will swell shut if I ingest it. So if I give them ibuprofen, I feel like I immediately need to scrub my hands. Tylenol is just easier and safer.). So I laid her down to give her the prednisone but she still spit some of it out. I went to the kitchen to wash my sticky hands and the syringe and came back to find a puddle on the floor. So I don't know how much of either she really got. I gave her Tylenol a little later too and gave her a fresh bottle of milk. She calmed down and maybe half an hour later, she ate a couple Goldfish crackers and wandered away to play. I was so relieved, because in the 6.5 hours we'd been awake, she clung to me and just cried. It's 3 pm now and she seems to be doing MUCH better. She's acting like herself again and her breathing is easier. Neither Mia nor Nora napped, but whatever. They'll sleep harder tonight.

So after this very rough day, why am I thankful? Because Nora merely has a bad cold and the worst test they performed on her was an x-ray. Because I realized she'll be better within a week and doesn't have a chronic or terminal illness. Because I didn't have to watch the nurses and technicians draw blood, intubate, do a spinal tap, or any other invasive procedure on my baby. Because this very rough day for me and my girls would be dream for some other families compared to what they endure. Because so much of life is a matter of perspective and I realize we've got it GOOD. We're blessed. I'm guessing you are too. So be thankful, appreciate what you do have, don't complain about the things you don't have, and just SMILE. Life is good. :)

Weariness

I've been meaning to post for a while. It's fall, my favorite season. Ella is in school. Mia and Nora are closer now. I was hired to teach Turbo Kick by a dance studio. Ella and Mia started ballet lessons. I ran my first 5K. There's been no shortage of things to blog about. But I feel tired. Don't get me wrong, my life is good. Even great. But lately I've had this overwhelming sense of weariness. Like I never stop moving but there's always more to do. Like each day I wake up, take a deep breath, and sprint through the day until it's time to collapse in bed at night. And then I do it again the next day. The other day I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was mad at me. To my knowledge, I didn't do or not do anything to make anyone angry. I'm still working out five days a week. That helps a bit and honestly, that's where I get most of my energy. I don't know how moms do it without regular exercise. I know I'd be much more worn down if I didn't.

I'm hoping this is a passing phase. That a few good conversations with friends and nights with more sleep will remedy this. I'm not entirely sure what outcome I hope for with this post. I just thought I should post *something.* So I'll leave with this: We were in the van one day when Mia, out of nowhere, says, "Mommy, Spiderman is the best superhero. He has webs in his hands so he can swing from tall buildings." My silly redhead makes me smile. :)

The gradual process of letting go

Ella started kindergarten today. I thought I was ready for it. But last night I was just feeling all out of sorts and then I realized I have never dropped Ella off someplace and left. She's been in the nursery and Sunday school at church and MOPS but I never left the building. We have dropped her off with family but even then it was only Leslie or Doug and Linda, people she is very familiar and comfortable with. Although I know she'll be fine and probably love school, my mom-ness takes over. I worry that someone will pick on her, that she won't make friends, that she'll get hurt and I won't be there, that she'll lose her lunch, that she'll be afraid to ask for help with something, and a whole slew of other things. I'm anxiously waiting to go pick her up (it's a half day, thank GOD!) and hear from her that everything was great and she loves school. It helps to know that Linda is in the kitchen if Ella needs someone familiar. Mrs. Radford seems like a great teacher too.

I was struck by the thought that the whole purpose of parenting is letting go. You create and give birth to this tiny being and gradually and continually prepare them to survive without you. Think about it - even beginning with conception, the baby is developing to survive outside of you. Once the baby is born, they begin to eat on their own, although initially with a lot of help from Mom and Dad. As time goes on, they learn to roll, crawl, walk, and run. They begin to self-feed. It continues forever. Leaving Ella in her kindergarten room felt like one of the most tangible steps of letting go in a long time. To some degree, it feels like she was just this tiny infant that needed me for everything. I can't imagine how it will feel to leave her in her college dorm room. I know it's years away but I have a sneaking suspicion it won't feel that long.

It was about ten years ago that my parents dropped me off in my college dorm room. It was Labor Day, September 3rd. How on earth do I remember the date? It was my mom's birthday. Probably not the happiest way to spend her birthday, but I'd imagine it had some sweetness to it. I was ready to leave home but not bolting like I was escaping. I was prepared to stand on my own two feet (as much as you do living in a college dorm) but not desperate to separate myself from my parents. I missed them and occasionally got homesick, but I was ready. I think that is the mark of good parenting - when milestones come, your child is prepared for them. If you have done your job well, your child is ready for you to let go.

I think daughters will always need their mom to some degree. Right now I find some comfort in that. My mom just celebrated her 53rd birthday this past weekend, her first birthday without her mom. It's harder to prepare for that final letting go, I think. Mom will always miss Grandma but she's okay without her here, so I think Grandma did her job well. Today would have been Grandma's 92nd birthday. It seems fitting that Ella's first day of kindergarten is on Grandma's birthday, like it completes a circle somehow. Perhaps I should take some pride in the fact that Ella didn't cry when I left the room without her and she seemed ready for this step. But I still hope that when I pick her up, she'll hug me and say she missed me before she tells me how much she loved her first day of school.

Summer is busy...and almost over

Another month gone and I haven't blogged. My apologies to my loyal readers, lol. I'll try to catch you up in the order things happened.

I turned 28! And I also reached my goal weight that day, thanks to a bout of the stomach flu the night before...that hit during my Turbo Kick class. We made it through the kicks first, so we still had a decent, albeit short, workout. Mom came down the next day, which the girls LOVED, and we went out to dinner. Then I went back to Mom and Dad's overnight. I missed Steve and the girls but a night without kids in a quiet house? Heavenly. I got plenty of sleep and then ran on the treadmill before Mom and I went to a family reunion. I came home that night.

The next weekend we went to Tracy and Donovan's house. We had fun but it was definitely an eventful trip. We spent the afternoon at Lake Huron and Steve I remembered to sunscreen the girls but not ourselves. Ouch. Steve and Ella also flipped the jetski and Lake Huron stole Steve's glasses. Not good, since his eyesight is bad without glasses. Luckily he was able to get new ones the next day, but it required a hours-long trip to Saginaw. Other than Ella telling off the neighbor boy, the rest of the weekend went better. On the way home we picked out new furniture too. Our old white sectional had seen better days and needed to be replaced.

That night, Steve was itchy. It was so bad and he was so agitated, he was pacing the house. Benadryl, a cold bath with vinegar, aloe, Dermoplast, etc barely touched it. He ended up going to the ER, where they told him to take ibuprofen (which is apparently one of the best things you can take for a severe sunburn) and prescribed burn cream and vicodin so he could sleep. Thankfully, he had the next day off. He never blistered though.

Later that same week, Nora had her 15 month well-child check. I couldn't find a sitter so I took all three girls. It went pretty well. Ella and Mia did NOT like seeing Nora get shots though. Since we were already out and it needed to be done, we went to have Ella's vision screening. Bad news. If we covered up her left eye, she said she couldn't see. So we were referred to an eye doctor.

Later that week (busy week), the new couch was delivered. Yay! We also have a new TV. Here's a picture of the furniture.


The blue recliner didn't stay there, but our old couch was stacked in pieces in the den. It was claimed by a friend whose puppy chewed through their couch. Glad someone else could use it! And the recliner is over there now.

The next week we had visitors for Turbo, which meant the biggest class ever! SEVEN of us! It was awesome. Last week was back down to two and then last night was just me, but I have faith that it will grow. I'll keep spreading the word and networking and it will grow.

Nora started saying "I love you" back to me. Consistently. It's great. :) She also comes into the kitchen when I have Turbo music on and I'm marking a routine and she'll dance.

We had the big Scott reunion. It wasn't as big this year but it was great to see the people who were able to make it.

Sunday, the hot water heater went out. Steve was pretty sure it was the thermal couple but couldn't change it himself. I always thought it was bad when we ran out of hot water. But the pilot light being out is way worse. Not even a hint of warm water. Eek. Luckily a repairman came and fixed it Thursday.

While we were without hot water, Ella had her eye appointment. Perfect vision in her left eye. Horrendous vision in her right eye. She had to get glasses. The doctor even talked about patching her left eye to force her to use her right eye. We're hoping the glasses help and she has a follow up appointment in three months. Her glasses came in on Friday. She looks adorable in them, but they also make her look older.


I've also been trying to make sure everything is in place for Ella to start school. Unfortunately most of the communication with the school has been single-sided. If I have to call the school to find out everything, the poor secretary will know me by name. I got the school supplies list and found out who her teacher is, but only because I've called repeatedly. Hopefully it's just that they're getting back into the swing of things and this isn't normal. Tomorrow I'm taking Ella to get her hearing checked too, because I just today found out (when someone finally answered at the school) that they may start requiring that too. May as well be prepared if they do. Had I known that, I would have done it when we got her vision screened almost a month ago. I'm a bit frustrated and feeling a bit apprehensive about Ella starting school now. I think she'll do fine but I like to be prepared and right now I feel completely out of the loop. I've heard good things about her teacher so I'm hoping things improve drastically.

We've been working with Mia on potty training too. She's making good progress. She's still in pull-ups because I am much more likely to remain patient if she has an accident in those rather than underwear. But once, she even went on her own without being told - and she peed in the potty! I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel of two in diapers. :) I'm okay with PTing a bit "late" if it means it's a quicker, less painful process for all of us.

Steve has been working a LOT of overtime. It'll be nice when he gets his next check, since we had the unexpected expense of a water heater repair and two pairs of glasses in the same month we decided to buy new furniture. We're fortunate that he gets paid OT since he is salaried and that most of the extra work could be done from home. But after working 18 days in a row, we're all ready for the 6 day weekend ahead. We planned this back in May. Labor Day is always when we celebrate all the September birthdays on Mom's side of the family. And there are a lot. There were five. Grandma would have been 92 next Tuesday. Since it's the first birthday for Mom and Marie without her, we're still all going out as a family. Leslie is visiting from California (we miss you, Paul!), Tracy and her girls have been there a few days and Donovan is going tomorrow, we're going tomorrow night, and Reid is going Friday. We have big plans, including a trip to the zoo, berry picking and jam making (using Grandma's recipe), a trip to the park with a run for me and Leslie, a big family dinner, and a few other things. Happy Labor Day everyone. :)

In a month's time...

It's been a month. While I want to keep all of you wonderful readers updated on us, I do feel it's more important to live life than write about it. But since I've kept you all in suspense for so long, here's a post. :)

June was a rough month. Grandma passed away. A week later, my wonderful aunt lost her mom. The next day, Uncle Don passed away. A week after that, the same aunt lost her dad. Other friends have lost parents and grandparents. This is not a fun part of life, but the longer we live and the more people we love, the more inevitable it becomes. Thankfully, the streak seems to be over for now. Too much death for my liking.

Nora is getting more steady and is almost running. The way she toddles after her sisters is adorable. Less adorable is the way she stands on the couch and giggles when we sternly tell her to sit down. She's talking a bit now and jabbers a LOT. She says bye and waves at people until they actually close the door. A few times people have tried to wait for her to stop doing it to leave and ended up standing in the doorway for a while. She also says "tickle tickle tickle" while tickling her stuffed animals. And she LOVES to give hugs and kisses. To people, toys, food, inanimate objects. She's becoming a ham too, which is fun.

Ella and Mia are doing a sports camp at the park this month. It's twice a week for three weeks. Ella loved Tuesday. Mia stayed close to me and Nora, but says she'll play soccer tomorrow. I hope so, because I think she'd have fun. They're both getting so tall. They are less and less my babies and more and more little girls. I still can't believe Ella is going to start school this fall.

I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but I was having what appeared to be gallbladder issues a while back. After an ultrasound, my doctor determined it was my stomach. He wrote a prescription with instructions for me to call back if I continued to have issues. The prescription worked...until it ran out the same day as my grandma's funeral. Not good if it was at all stress related. So I'm back on the prescription and saw a gastroenterologist last week and had an endoscopy this morning. Big scary words to say he put a camera down my throat to see what the problem is with my stomach. No cancer, no ulcers, but I have a hiatal hernia and an inflamed stomach. I'm off caffeine, my prescription is now twice a day instead of once, and the head of our bed is now six inches higher than the foot. This should solve my issues within a few weeks. Decaf coffee it is.

Annie and Thomas came to visit for a few weeks. They are having a girl (yeah, I know, all girls, can't we produce a boy, blah blah blah. We <3 girls and are happy with our healthy, beautiful girls) and had a shower while they were here. Jonathan also came home for a weekend. It was good to see all three of them. Sarah will be back in a few weeks and Leslie will be coming to visit for a week and a half soon after that. I miss them both and can't wait to see them too. I do wish Paul could come too, but I'll take whatever family members can come.

There's not much else to report. Life is busy. We bought a kiddie pool, which the girls LOVE. Ella is a junior techie already and changed the tablet's language to Japanese. Mia usually has a tiara or ring or necklace on, if not a full-blown princess outfit. My class is still usually just me and Kristy but I have faith that it will grow. I got the word out on a few community calendars and I keep wearing my shirt and telling people about it. Steve seems to be learning his new position and (mostly) enjoys the challenge. Other than my stomach issues, we've been healthy. Life is good, just busy. Hopefully next time I'll have something witty or profound to say. Today I'll leave you with this: focus on what is important. Family, faith, revitalizing relationships, your passions. Drama, the lawn, the latest technology, your pride, the car you drive - these are not of real importance. Focus on the lasting things.

RIP Grandma

Grandma went downhill last weekend. We visited her on Sunday. She was in and out of sleep and difficult to understand when she was awake. She had requested that we bring the girls to see her, so we did. It was a chance to say goodbye; she passed away at 8:45am Monday. Mom and Marie were with her.
Honestly, this is about the best way things could have happened. When we visited her the weekend before, I don't think anyone was ready to really say goodbye. This way we had a week to prepare and say goodbye. But since she was only sick for a week, she wasn't in prolonged pain. And since we knew it was only a matter of time, Mom and Marie were able to be with her.
It was still a rough week. The visitation was Wednesday. A lot of people came to pay their respects and show love and support. I'm thankful for that. The funeral was on Thursday. Dad officiated the service (is that the correct verbage?) so I sat next to Mom, with Marie on her other side. We spent a good chunk of the service crying. Grandma is having a wonderful reunion with so many loved ones, but we miss her here. One song in particular got us all. "I've Got a Mansion" was the last song Grandpa played on the organ, for a relative singing a special at church, before he had a heart attack and died. They sang it at his funeral 33 years ago. I think we may have sang it at Durwood's funeral (my uncle and my grandparents' only son), but Mom and I couldn't remember for sure. So of course, we sang it at Grandma's funeral. Or rather everyone else did while we cried.
When we went to the cemetery, I took pictures of the gravestones of different family members. Grandpa and Aunt Carla are buried there, along with both Grandma and Grandpa's parents. Since the mosquitoes were horrible and the girls react to them like I do, we put them with Chloe and Haylie in the Expedition, where they were watching a movie. The result? Ella laid on the horn (on purpose) in the middle of Dad's prayer. :s Oops.
I learned a lot of things I hadn't known before. Three of my four great grandparents on that side lived into their 80s. It appears I probably have a long life ahead of me. Carla was born alive, as the doctor was walking in the door of my grandparents' house. Mom says she probably would have lived if she had been born in a hospital, but instead she died that same day. I knew before she was a twin. But she was born and died on June 19, 1956. Brian and Amy, my twin cousins, were also born on June 19 (in 1979). Odd, yes? There were other interesting facts too, none of which I can currently remember.
I didn't see Grandma that often but I miss her already. It's just knowing I won't see her again here, the finality of that goodbye. But I'm glad she's not in pain and she's in heaven, reunited with so many of the loved ones she's mourned over the years. Now those of us left behind will mourn her and celebrate her memory and legacy. Rest in peace, Grandma. We love you.

Ella-isms

Yesterday she came into the living room while I was taking a breathe during my workout. She very seriously told me she needed to talk to me. So she sat on the couch and told me calmly, lower lip quivering, that when I yell, her face gets red and she gets angry at me. Is she aware or what? It sounds like something a mature adult would say, not a four year old. I explained that I yell when I get angry and when I get angry, it's usually because she's not doing what she's supposed to be doing. So if she does what I ask when I ask the first time, I won't yell, she won't get angry, and her face won't get red. And I thanked her for telling me. She later came to me and apologized for telling me she gets mad at me. Some days I swear she's four going on twenty-five.

Lately she's been saying she lost her goodbye voice or her sleeping voice. It's always suspiciously when she's supposed to be telling someone goodbye or going to sleep. Today she told me she lost her pick up power, so she just can't pick up her toys. Life is never dull.

And to preview her teen years, I was watching the Today Show this morning. She said, "Mommy, this movie is too lame for me to watch." Oh dear. Shortly after that, the New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys came on and I agreed with her and changed the channel after they alternated short parts of their hit songs. (Side note: One of the NKOTB walked down the catwalk, grabbed a woman by the hair, yanked her head back, and kissed her. Um, is that supposed to be cool? 'Cause it made him look like a pompous jerk who is WAY past his prime. And skinny jeans are no one's friend, let alone guys approaching 40. Seriously.)

And a quick run-down of other happenings:
- Nora is walking! It took her 13 months to do it but she's walking. She still prefers crawling but is walking more and more. She's also getting 4 molars and says "cheese" for the camera. Dancing is a favorite thing and she likes people now.
- Steve turned 28! And bought himself a Wii for the occasion. I also got a new laptop (mine was on its last leg and steadily getting worse).
- Mia is still deathly afraid of thunderstorms. Which has been fun, considering the number of them in the last two weeks.
- I'm getting a Body Media Fit! Same thing as a BodyBugg but has more features and the subscription is less per month.
- Leslie and Paul left for California. :( I'm excited for them and their new adventure but I'm not a fan of them being so far away. They're just getting to California today. I'm proud of them and thankful for cell phones, Facebook, Google chat, and a webcam on my new laptop, which means video chat. Hopefully all that technology will help fill the gap.
- My class is actually a class now! I switched to Tuesdays so the people interested can actually come. I've had two classes that had more than Kristy and/or my sisters. (Sisters, thank you so much for the support! <3) Tomorrow is Turbo for a Cause in Toledo. I'm going to meet Jenelle! Very excited for that.

That's pretty much it here. Life as usual. :)

Illa May Wise Steward

Yesterday was an up and down sort of day. It started out with a Facebook message saying that my grandma was in the hospital and it was serious. I called Mom and we both cried. Grandma is 91 and the diagnosis yesterday was gallstones and pancreatitis. I thought for sure I'd have to say good bye to her yesterday. I talked to Dad once they were at the hospital with Grandma and the outlook sounded much better. But since any issue can be serious when you're 91, Steve and I made the trip over (with Reid) to see Grandma. She seemed to be doing well and they expect she'll be in the hospital for a week and then return to the care home. My day ended much better than it began. But it made me think a lot about my grandma, my one surviving grandparent, and I thought I'd tell you about her.

Grandma was born in September of 1919, the first of many September birthdays in our family (there are four others). She had a brother and a sister, although I'm not sure if they were older or younger. (Jesse died a few years ago and Ruth passed away before I was born.) I believe Grandma was born in Sunfield and lived in the area her entire life (so far, although I doubt she'll move away). In her 20s, her father was sick, so she took care of him and her mother. He passed away by the time she married Grandpa. When I asked her how she met Grandpa, she told me she knew him from the time she was born. Their families went to the same church and they were friends for years before they got married around age 30. Grandpa got a job at Kellogg when Grandma was pregnant with Durwood. They had Marie a few years later. At one point Grandma was pregnant and miscarried. She told me she argued with the doctor, insisting she was still pregnant, while he insisted she wasn't. Several months later, she gave birth (she had been carrying twins) to Carla, who didn't survive more than a few days. I remember visiting her grave with Grandma when I was little. A few years later, they bought a house in Nashville and then had Carol, my mom. By that time, Grandma was 39. Imagine - in the 1940s, she waited until she was about 30 to get married - spinster status at that time. She had already lost a parent and two children. And she had a baby at nearly 40, back in the 50s (late 50s, but still). That's Grandma. She's very opinionated and spunky. She's incredibly independent, which has been difficult for her in the last few years.
Grandpa had heart problems for several years. I'm not sure of the time table, but he had a few heart attacks. Durwood married Sue and they had Jenny and Shelly. Marie married Dave but divorced him (I'm not a fan of divorce, but from what I've heard of him, she was better off and fortunate they don't share children). At some point in there, Grandma's sister passed away, from complications of early on-set Alzheimers. In 1978, Mom married Dad. A week later, Grandpa had a heart attack at church and passed away later at the hospital. Mom and Dad stayed with Grandma for a few months before moving to Kentucky for seminary. Marie married Ken shortly after that and they had twins, Brian and Amy, the following year.
More grandkids came: Reid, then me, Tracy, and Leslie. And then Jenny married Donny and Shelly married Bill and great-grandkids came; Sarah, Jacob, Molly, and Scott. Then the family got smaller again before it got bigger: Jenny and Donny divorced, Durwood passed away unexpectedly (heart attack), and Ken passed away just months later (also heart attack). A few short months later, we added to the family again: I married Steve and Tracy married Donovan. Babies came shortly after that and Leslie married Paul and Brian married Rebecca. Grandma now has eight grandchildren (plus five spouses) and nine great-grandchildren, with another on the way.
Grandma has had some health issues over the years. Due to iritis, she's blind in one eye and has been as long as I can remember. She has some heart problems and at one point she had a lump removed from her breast. She had some balance issues, which eventually led to her moving to a home. Like I said, Grandma is very independent. By then she'd been living alone for 30 years. She knew it was best not to live alone anymore, but I think it was really hard for her. She was used to taking care of herself and taking care of others, not letting people take care of her. A good example is the first time Steve met her. We met her at a restaurant for dinner, for her birthday I think. She had fallen recently and injured her ankle and was in a wheelchair. Brian and Marie were with her and Brian tried to push her wheelchair for her. She slapped his hand away and insisted, "I'll do it myself." She was 86 then. :) She accepts help a bit more willingly now but is still pretty feisty. I'm inclined to think that's what changed the doctor's opinion on Saturday, from thinking she wouldn't leave the hospital to believing she'll be around a bit longer.
I'm glad she'll be around longer. I would never wish to prolong any pain she's in and at 91 I know she may not be around much longer. She's outlived a lot of the people in her life already. But I wasn't ready to say goodbye yesterday and I'm relieved she's okay, at least for the moment. Mom and Marie are really close to Grandma and I don't think they're quite ready yet either. In the meantime, I'm going to visit her more often. She still has lots of stories I haven't heard and I bet they're good ones.

May the 4th

If you know my husband, you probably know I'm married to a geek. He works in IT and loves all things sci fi. I guess I'm a geek by proxy, although truth be known, I was interested in some of it before Steve, since my brother is also a geek. Anyhow, that is how I know today is a holiday. If you have any geek friends on FB or Twitter, you know this or you've at least seen "May the fourth be with you." Since the catchphrase from Star Wars is "May the Force be with you," today (May the fourth) is Star Wars Day. So in honor of that, here's a nice little story about how Steve knew I was the One.

Our first date was May 14, 2005. I graduated with my bachelors degree that day, moved in to my friends' basement, and got ready for a date with Steve. He had to work, so I had dinner at my future in-laws' with Becky and Zech and then went to register with them (they were engaged - for the record, I HATE registering. Shopping is not my thing and registering is worse because you don't go home with anything and you have to pick out what you want that you think someone else would be willing to buy for you. It's even worse when it's for someone else's registry. But I digress.). Steve met us at Target and then I rode with him to the bowling alley. I was nervous and when I'm nervous I either don't talk or chatter endlessly, depending on how well I know you. So I didn't say much. As the night went on, I felt more comfortable and started talking a bit more. By the time we left the bowling alley, I thought this relationship could have real potential (haha! I'm psychic!). The two of us drove around for a while, just talking. Contrary to all dating advice out there, Steve and I basically laid our cards on the table. We were both recently (within the last 9 months) out of serious relationships and were ready to settle down. Neither of us wanted to play games. We talked about our past relationships. We talked about most things. We ended up at Denny's, where we kept talking. When we went back to his parents' house, I asked if I could borrow his Star Wars DVDs.
According to Becky and Linda (my mother-in-law), this is a big deal. NO ONE is allowed to borrow Steve's Star Wars. Talking about it later, Steve said it wasn't that big a deal, no one ever asked to borrow them. But it was a big clue that he was seriously interested. Why did I want to borrow the DVDs? Because in January I visited Tikal in Guatemala. We were told a scene for Star Wars was filmed there in the '70s and I wanted to find it in the movie. I have a picture very similar to the one below, minus the spaceship, and the trees are taller (it HAD been 30 years). It's Yavin 4, featured in Episode 4.


Anyhow, I found it and pulled out my very similar picture, temples visible in the distance and all, when I returned the DVDs to Steve later in the week. I excitedly showed him my picture, exclaiming, "Look! I've been there!" (Even if you're not a SW fan, you have to admit this is pretty cool.) Aside from our similar views and temperaments, this and the fact that I got a Monty Python reference made Steve sure I was the right girl for him. So sure, in fact, that he proposed five weeks later. Here we are, six years, three daughters, one house, a masters degree, three jobs, three cars, and a minivan later. I'm happy with my geek and more than willing to celebrate May the fourth.
Oh, did I mention we had our first kiss after seeing Episode 3 in the theater? It was Steve's birthday and...
Happy Star Wars Day!

There goes April...

I've been neglecting the blog. Sorry, loyal readers. So I'm back with some updates...

- Nora turned 1! She's a hefty 25 lbs. She is stubbornly resisting all attempts to get her to walk. I half expect that one day she'll just take off at a run and that will be the end of crawling. She says a few words - Mama, Dada, baba (bottle), Ewwa (Ella), hi, and a few other things that sounded like words but may or may not have actually meant something. I had to trim her hair because it was in her face. That happened the day before her birthday. She looks older with her hair cut. The little bit I trimmed off is in a baggie in her baby book, along with a note with the date.

- Mia turned 3! Her check up is in May. She's getting tall. She's our cuddler, sensitive kid, and antagonist rolled into one. She adores Nora and takes care of her, but will turn around and smack Ella with a toy. I honestly don't believe she's trying to be naughty, she's just curious what will happen maybe? It keeps life interesting for sure. She has the BIGGEST appetite, but of our girls, she's probably the smallest for her age (which is still pretty high on the charts, I think). We still get lots of comments and questions about her red hair. I've even been asked if she was adopted...since red hair seems to pop up a lot when both parents have this recessive red hair trait (which honestly isn't so recessive in our family, considering Steve and I had 3 red-headed grandparents between us), I don't believe red hair is dying out. Just saying.

- Ella had her kindergarten round up appointment. How is she old enough for kindergarten?! Well, she seems old enough, but I don't feel like I'M old enough to have a kindergartener. Some days I feel like I'm actually still 17 and somehow woke up with a husband, house, three kids, and a minivan (in a good way, but there's still that feeling of "how did I get here?"). The appointment went well, she talked a ton, drew pictures, and came home with a few books and the alphabet.

- Steve got a promotion! He was help desk support and was promoted to network engineer. Normally there's a step in between - network administrator. The fact that he skipped that step shows how highly his bosses think of him and the faith they have in his abilities. He has a lot more responsibilities and a lot to learn (which means a lot of added stress), but he's up to the challenge. I'm very proud of him. :) This promotion also means a pretty big raise. Since Steve left Comcast and joined the bank about 13 months ago, his yearly income has gone up nearly $20,000. HUGE blessing! Obviously, this relieves a lot of the stress we had surrounding finances, even with the addition of a third child.

- We <3 Amoxicillin. Well, not really. I hate the 3 times a day dosing and some of the unfortunate side effects. Getting Nora to take it isn't easy either. But it does get rid of ear infections and the pain and screaming that come with them. Mia went to the doctor on Wednesday - double ear infection, bad enough that the doctor also prescribed ear numbing drops. Nora went in on Friday and she has an ear infection and the beginning of bronchitis. So both are on Amoxicillin and Mia has ear drops. Ella had a fever and a cough and threw up for about 24 hours, starting Friday night. She's finally keeping down liquids (Pedialyte for the win) but hasn't tried food yet. She did say she was hungry though, which is a good sign. The big girls have had cough syrup and all three have had some combination of Tylenol and ibuprofen for pain and fevers. We have two calendars on the fridge to track the Amoxicillin dosing and a list of who took what when. I highly recommend keeping a list if you have a kid on multiple meds or multiple kids on meds. My brain gets pretty muddled when I'm low on sleep so this method works for us. As of this morning, everyone seems to be doing somewhat better. Mia and Nora have been on meds long enough for them to take effect and Ella has stopped vomiting and has asked for juice and some food. She asked to play outside too. So Ella and Mia are out in the yard now - I figured the fresh air could only help.

- I have gallbladder issues? This may fall a bit into the TMI category - sorry, but you've been warned. I'm no stranger to issues involving gas, what with IBS and eating lots of fruits and veggies (I've heard this is an issue for other people switching to a healthier diet too). During pregnancy, it was one of many discomforts I dealt with. Normally Gas-X helps. But occasionally, I feel more bloated and uncomfortable and I start to get an ache in my shoulder. I found out a month or two ago that this could possibly be related to my gallbladder. It's an occasional thing, there doesn't seem to be a pattern to when it occurs, and I didn't think the doctor could do much unless I was in the middle of a flare-up so I figured I'd mention it when I go in for my yearly check ups. But Friday it was BAD. It happened when I took Nora in for her appointment and it was painful to sit down (pressure on my middle) or stand up straight. So I sat in a semi-reclined position and tried to hold Nora on my hip, which didn't help much. I asked a nurse about it in passing, knowing she couldn't do much without it being my appointment but she could at least tell me if I should get it checked out (yeah, I know, if I'm doubled over in pain, I should). She said I should get it checked out and asked if I still had my gallbladder. Since it didn't get better, I went to MedPlus later and the first question the nurse and doctor asked after hearing my symptoms was if I still had my gallbladder. The doctor thought I might have scar tissue on or near my gallbladder and ordered an ultrasound. Without going to the ER, I have to wait until Monday to even call to schedule it. Unfortunately I was in pain the rest of Friday night and off and on most of Saturday. I'm a bit afraid to eat because I'm not sure what's "safe" to eat and won't cause it to flare up worse. So I've had lots of bland foods and bowls of Cheerios. Steve bought more fruit last night because that's safe. Hopefully they can get me in soon to figure out the exact cause of this and do *something* to help it or shorten it.

- Fit Club ends and LIVE Turbo Kick class begins! Although both with a whimper, apparently. Second to last Fit Club was me, my wonderful sister, and my new co-teacher. Last Fit Club was just me and no one even showed up to let me in the church. Awesome. But that made it very clear to me that it had run its course. Unfortunately, Saturday morning when I dragged my hurting body (mid-gallbladder attack) out of bed and went to teach my first ever class, determined it would be awesome and I CAN work out through this, once again no one came. My lovely co-teacher came so we practiced and will advertise a bit more for this coming Saturday. I have a few people who I think can come this week that weren't able to last week (one of them being my wonderfully supportive sister) and I'm going to be more intentional about personally inviting people. I will make this class a success, even if my body seems to be determined to kill it (Seriously, the last time I was sick as the first week of Fit Club. Not sure what's up with that).

I think that's about it here. I DVR'ed the royal wedding and watched it. It was beautiful and I wish them the best. But William was much more handsome when I was in high school and I would not want to marry into all those requirements and media attention. I mean, they made her change her name. There will be pressure to "produce an heir." I much prefer my "prince" and quiet existence on this side of the pond. Well, at least once we're all healthy again. :)

Balance

I read this on FB this morning: " if you didn't feel emotionally drained you wouldn't be doing your job as a wife and mother." I respectfully disagree. If you feel emotionally drained all the time, it doesn't mean you're a good parent. It means your life is out of balance. If one area is off-kilter, it affects everything and not in a good way. As a parent, there will be times you are emotionally drained. But if it's all the time, something needs to change. Part of being a parent is showing your kids what life is about. If you're always stressed out, they'll think life is stressful. I don't know about you, but that's not what I want for me or my kids.

So what's the solution? Mommy time. Parents need time to recharge, whether it's devotions, small group, exercising, coffee dates with friends, prayer time, alone time, MOPS, reading novels, bubble baths, date nights. Kids require a lot of time and energy. As a parent, part of your responsibility is figuring how to take care of you and renew your energy so you can keep being a good parent. You have to know your limits, know when you need to tell your husband you need a break, know when you need to get out and see an old friend. It's all about balance.

For me personally, I've had times when I felt off-balance and I don't think I was as good of a wife and mom then. I'm an achiever, overachiever really, and as such, I always need to have a goal I'm working toward. When I finished my masters degree and wasn't working, I felt stagnant. Then I got pregnant again and started working and it helped. I had goals again. After having Nora, my goal was weight loss (again). I met goal and then my goal was to get certified in Turbo Kick. I did that and now I'm practicing and looking for a place to teach. I have a feeling that will keep me occupied for a while, even once I find a location. :) Steep learning curve and I'm a perfectionist. Yup, busy. But it meets a need of mine and it refreshes and re-energizes me. Another thing that has helped me so much is regular exercise. People think I'm nuts. I have three small children, how do I find the time to work out? Well, nap time. I'm also an introvert and need some quiet alone time to recharge. I think I need nap time more than they do sometimes. But I get some down time and then I also exercise. Heart-pumping cardio done to awesome music? Heck yes! It relieves any stress in my day, clears my head, and gives me this awesome release of endorphins that gives me more energy and puts me in a better mood to deal with the rest of my day. It's me time with so many benefits. Steve is also an introvert, so he understands my need for alone time and he's seen how much my mood improves after a good workout. He's also great about encouraging me to go out with friends on occasion. He knows I come home feeling connected and understood. I try to do the same for him, encouraging the occasional guys' night and giving him time and space in the evening if he needs it. That's part of being a good spouse, in my opinion - seeing your partner's needs and helping them meet them.

We try to do date nights regularly, although those don't happen as often as we'd like. Nora is getting older and is on a more regular sleeping schedule, so we at least have an hour or so that's just us in the evenings. As the girls get older, date nights should be easier too. We also go to a marriage small group every two weeks. That time to connect with other couples and examine our marriage and safe-guard against potential problems has been wonderful. We have more couple friends now. :) And Steve has read some great books that he probably wouldn't have otherwise. (Just being honest. I read more self-improvement books, he reads novels before bed to quiet his thoughts. Our marriage is a priority to him but his reading time is pretty limited.) Along the same lines is MOPS. It's hard getting all four of us ready and out of the house and someplace else by 9:15. But for as stressful as it is getting there, MOPS has been great. It's reassuring to hear the struggles other moms deal with and it's expanded my circle of mom friends. I highly recommend finding a mom group. MOPS does have scholarships available, so don't count it out if cost is an issue. Having support and time with other moms is too important.

If life is draining the life out of it, find something that renews you. Taking a little time for you will make you better in all areas of your life, not subtract from them. It's not selfish to do something that re-energizes you and makes you a better wife and parent. It will enrich all of you. You have important roles. Do something for you to make sure you're at your best for them.

They just keep growing

Nora has been cruising for a couple weeks now and has been testing her balance. She'll stand in front of either me or Steve and then slowly let go and wait with a huge grin for us to notice and cheer. She's so proud of herself! She's not attempting steps on her own yet though. Out of curiosity, I checked the other girls' baby books. Ella started walking in the 2 weeks before her first birthday. Amelia started walking the day before she was 11 months. Nora will be doing it soon. And with the way she's done other things, she's be running within a month of her first steps.

For example, out of nowhere the other day, she climbed a stair. I was working out and Steve was doing bedtime upstairs with the big girls. Nora was at the bottom of the stairs, as usual. She suddenly squealed and I looked over and realized I couldn't see her little butt. I ran over and found her standing on the bottom step. So I stood behind her as she climbed another step. And then another. When Steve had the big girls in bed, he sat on the landing and Nora climbed the rest of the way up to him. By the next day she was practically an expert. She's quick and just keeps going. We have a gate that we keep near the bottom of the stairs and we've started using it when the big girls go upstairs (Nora wants to be with them at all times. Except during nap time if she's in her crib, she screams. So she thinks she wants to be with them but immediately changes her mind when she's left upstairs.). I figured we'd be okay otherwise because the upstairs isn't appealing unless Steve, Ella, Mia, or I are up there. Nope. Yesterday she decided to take off up the stairs in the middle of the day, despite all of us being on the first floor. So we're using the gates most of the time now.

Mia is willing to sit on the potty now, although she has yet to actually GO on the potty. She likes to insist she's too small for the potty, even the little one. So sitting there is a step. Hopefully we can get that done by this summer. It might mean more laundry but it would also mean less diapers and a little less money spent on them. (What will I do with all the extra time?! Right, probably spend it in the bathroom with Mia, lol.)

Ella will be 5 this fall, which means kindergarten. I have mixed feelings about this. How is she already old enough for kindergarten? How am I old enough to have a child old enough for kindergarten? Anyhow, we have the paperwork and just need to fill it out and get it back in. She's ready. Shoot, MIA already knows all the things required for kindergarten. Since we're doing school of choice, I'll have to drive her in every day. Not looking forward to that. I like my relaxed mornings. It'll be all day, 5 days a week. Seems like a lot starting out. But Linda works in the lunch room, so there will be a familiar face. And I'm honestly more concerned about how Mia will handle Ella being gone so much than about how Ella will do. It'll be strange only having two home during the day. Ah well, we'll adjust and all do fine, I'm sure.

As for me, I did my Turbo Kick training on Sunday! I have to wait for the official results (4-6 weeks, torture for impatient people like me) to begin teaching, but I'm confident I passed. Being the perfectionist I am, I'm hoping I earned a gold instead of pass but will be okay with pass. Either way it means I get to teach! I'm working on learning the round and cuing and nailing down the details. We're continuing with fit club for now. I'll have a ton more info about all that on my fitness blog.

Things are changing a bit for Steve at work. I can't share details yet, but it's good news for him. I'm proud of him and so happy that he has a job that is fulfilling and helping him learn more. I have the world's best husband. :)

So we're all growing. Change can be hard but growth is good. How are you growing?

Humble

I've decided having kids keeps you humble and teaches you to laugh at yourself. There are times when it feels like the only options are to laugh, cry, or go insane. Laughing is by far the best option. As for being humbling, think about it. Generally you become a parent by giving birth with a room full of people watching you. There's no way to do it modestly and at that point, you don't really care who sees what parts of you. But it's humbling, baring yourself and being that vulnerable in front of a room full of people.
From there, your schedule is more or less determined by this tiny person. Although you're the parent, you're the adult, it's clear that the baby is the one running the show. You feed them on command, you clean their butt, you snap awake (or some state of semi-consciousness) when they cry. This is humbling.
The way your kids humble you changes over time. As they grow, it could be a tantrum in the middle of the store that is humbling. Or the way your child mimics your worst qualities. Or the truth that they state loudly, not having learned tact yet.
This morning Mia and I were having a serious discussion about potty training. Mia's not quite 3 and has the attention span to match. I suddenly realized she was focusing on my forehead. As I continued talking, she stared, mesmerized, and raised her little hand and pointer finger. Wondering what she was doing, she suddenly poked the zit between my eyebrows. And then poked again. Thanks, kid. I'm trying to have a serious talk with you and you poke my holdover from adolescence. At least it was comical. ;) I tell you, having kids keeps you humble.

I'm pretty sure that the fact that there isn't a single picture of me on Facebook with my tongue sticking out or fish lips means I'm an adult. That is all.

Edited: I meant duck lips, not fish lips. Not attractive, people.

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is relatively quiet at our house. Steve rarely buys me flowers (actually I don't think he's ever bought me flowers for V Day), which is fine. They're overpriced today and I'd much rather get them out of the blue a week from now than get them today because someone says he should give them to me. Jewelry is generally reserved for bigger occasions, like my birthday, Christmas, our anniversary, or maybe Mother's Day. I might get chocolate or a card, which suits me. I have a sweet tooth and I love to keep the cards and re-read them later. We're pretty low-key so this is good for us. Today I came downstairs to find a Where's Waldo? valentine from Steve. :) (I have a collection of old unused valentines that we use now.) I opened my computer to find an email from him and a FB wall post. When he went to lunch, he sent me an I love you text. :) Low-key but so sweet.
We bought little stuffed animals for the girls. Ella got a tiger, Mia got a monkey, and Nora got a giraffe. They love them. We also made valentines for all the family that's coming later today. That's right. We're having our Valentine's Day dinner with all my siblings, brother-in-law, and two nieces. We're just doing Chinese takeout. It will be loud and probably a bit chaotic with 5 little girls 4 and under. But it'll be fun. I love my family.
We did our "romantic" date yesterday. With all three girls. :) We just went to Finley's after church. Ella talked loudly, Mia wore as much as she ate, and Nora slept and then danced. It was wonderful and really represents our little life. I love our little girls and my dear husband.

Now for some updates...
Madelyn has had a few setbacks this week. She has an episode with her breathing and regressed a little with her feedings. She's still doing relatively well but won't be coming home as soon as hoped.
Becky had a gallbladder attack and will need to have surgery. We don't know how soon, since she has to get a referral from her doctor to a surgeon first.
I'm most concerned today for Chad Cole. Little Miranda was removed from life support and passed away in Chad's arms Tuesday night. The funeral for Sara and Miranda was Saturday. Now it's Valentine's Day and Chad's arms are empty. Please remember to pray for him and his and Sara's family. The parts that end up in the news are over but he has a long road ahead of him and needs prayers as much as ever. Thinking of him and what he's been through reminds me to be thankful for my family and any time we have together. In his blog, Chad said Sara was the embodiment of love. So on this day about love, be loving, to everyone. Not just the people you love and the ones that are easy to love. Be kind to others. And not just today. In memory of Sara and Miranda. Spread their legacy.
Happy Valentine's Day.

Life is fragile

My heart is heavy today and I'm pensive. I'm also counting my blessings. The last few weeks have been a bit crazy. Lots of news, news that affects us but isn't really our news. News that makes me sad.

Before Christmas, my dear sweet sister shared the happy news that she was pregnant again, with their third baby. It was her fourth pregnancy. Unfortunately, we found out a month ago that it was similar to her first pregnancy - her dates said 11 weeks, the baby measured 8, and there was no heartbeat. Heartbreaking news. She miscarried a week later. Emotionally, they're doing okay, although I'm sure there's more grieving to come.

The following week, one week ago, Steve's sister Becky went into labor far too early, around 33.5 weeks. Despite two trips up to labor and delivery, she was sent home. She had back labor but didn't realize that's what it was, until minutes before she gave birth to her daughter on the bathroom floor. Madelyn Faith was 4 lbs 12 oz, 17.5 inches long and had good color for being 6.5 weeks early. This news was crazy, but has a happier outcome. Becky is doing well and Madelyn is doing amazingly well for being so early. She's breathing on her own, regulating her body temperature on her own, and is taking some of her feedings orally. She's even latched without a problem. Becky and Zech are hoping to bring her home to big sister Abigail sometime in the next week or two. She needs to be consistently taking larger feedings orally but appears to be well on her way.

Saturday brought news from someone I don't know. I know his brother and we have a lot of mutual friends, but he's not someone I've met personally. His name is Chad Cole. He's been married 14 years to his best friend Sara. They were expecting their first child, after trying for 18 months, and Sara was 37 weeks. Saturday they were traveling on the highway and pulled off onto the shoulder because of white-out conditions. A semi hit their van. Chad had some injuries but nothing life-threatening. Sara was taken to the hospital where she delivered their baby girl and then died from her injuries. Baby Miranda was born without a heartbeat or brain activity. They got her heart going and then transferred her to U of M. According to Chad's blog, without a miracle today or tomorrow, he may also lose his baby girl too. My heart aches for him, thinking how a few days ago his world seemed near perfect, married to his best friend with a baby coming soon, and now that may all be lost. I read a few recent blog posts and in one he talked about his favorite memory of 2010: finding out they were going to have a baby. He ended that post with this: "Two lines...two beautiful...perfect...clearly readable pink lines...that's my best memory of 2010. You've got big shoes to fill 2011...big shoes..." It made me tear up. Big hopes, dashed a month later. Please pray for them.

I also heard yesterday that my aunt lost her brother. I have no idea if he had been sick. To round out the day, I also found out that Steve's uncle lost his sister yesterday. She had been sick, though I'm not sure for how long.

So I'm sitting here, hurting for all the people hurting around me, happy for the good news, and painfully aware how fragile life is. Pray for all of them please. Count your blessings and hug your loved ones. You're blessed.

Snow day!

It snowed last night. Now, it's February in Michigan, so snow is normal. But this storm had hype. People were calling it snowpocalypse and the storm of the century. They predicted as much as 24 inches of snow in our area. Just to be safe, we stocked up on milk, eggs, bread, diapers, and formula. At 4:30 yesterday, it wasn't even snowing. The blizzard warning started at 5 and by 5:30, it was snowing steadily. I was honestly getting excited for this storm. Big snow! Plus Steve was told to work from home if the bank opened and if it didn't, he'd get a paid day off. Awesome!

Okay. I lived in Sault Ste. Marie until I was almost eleven. It snows heavy up there. They're equipped to deal with it though, so we only had a handful of snow days the entire time I was in elementary school (seriously, three maybe?). With all the hype, I was expecting something of that sort. Like FEET of snow. After all, that's what they were predicting. By the time I went to bed at midnight, there were only a couple inches of new snow. But it was supposed to be heavier from midnight on...

We all got up about 9am, after Steve made sure earlier that the bank was closed (although the recording said it was closed for the holiday, lol). I looked outside...it definitely snowed. It's definitely a snow day. It'd be a bad idea to try to drive somewhere, especially since we don't have 4 wheel drive. But really? THIS was snowpocalypse? I'm underwhelmed. According to weather.com we got 6 inches. NOT the predicted 24. It is still snowing but the prediction is only another 2 inches. Storm of the century, hmph. LOL.

Steve is home today and it's paid without taking his vacation or sick time. And the girls will love playing in this. It should be a good, productive day. But I think the most memorable thing about this storm will be all the hype, lol.

Thoughts on Parenthood

Parenthood. It's like a full-time job, especially if you stay at home with the kids. Except it really isn't. If you work full-time, you get paid. Parenthood isn't a paid position, at least not monetarily. And most full-time jobs are 40 hours per week. Not parenthood. How many hours are in a week? That's how many hours you're working. But you do get a break at night. Well, maybe. It depends on how well your child sleeps, if said child is sick, teething, injured, or any number of other things. We'll call night duty being on call. You might get called in, you might not. But there are date nights! Yes! Well, that's nothing like a "real" job either. You have to pay someone else to take your shift and you're still on call. As for the job description...well, it includes everything. Changing diapers, feeding, bathing, comforting, cleaning up, laundry, teaching them, well, everything. Also, there's no expense account. You pay for everything too. Really, parenthood is nothing like a job, it's a lifestyle. It's like a tattoo on your face: you have to be fully committed.

Note: This is all tongue-in-cheek, meant to entertain. It's the running monologue in my head while I change the umpteenth dirty diaper that has leaked this week. I dearly love my kids and would do anything for them but let's be honest, it's nothing like a job. ;)

Stories from the Ewwww file

Lately I've had a series of gross-out parenting moments. Vomit, poop, etc. Here are a few of the more comical ones...
- Steve was holding upside down, like he does all the time. She usually giggles. This time she threw up and it ran down (up?) her face into her hair. Ick.
- Last night Nora woke up about midnight, right as I was about to go to bed (it's like she *knows*). I laid her on my lap and went to change her diaper. Just as I pulled the diaper off, she peed. All over herself. All over me. All over the fresh diaper. Luckily it missed the chair. Sigh. We both needed complete outfit changes.
- Today I noticed a puddle of water on the coffee table. The girls had only had milk to drink so I asked where the water came from. Mia told me it was from the french fry, a plastic toy. I was completely confused until I realized Nora likes to suck on those...yup, that french fry sucked in all that spit and one of the girls squeezed it out onto the table. Funny but so gross.

Making memories

It's an odd thing being a parent to little kids. Sometimes getting them to eat requires bargaining and creative presentation. You're frequently congratulated on going potty. They insist that they need help finding a toy two feet away from them, but they're figured out how to escape into the backyard (teamwork. Serious. I watched them.). A Tum makes an infected ear feel better (Steve is picking up the meds on his way home). You know the cartoons on TV better than the current songs on the radio. You monitor other people's intake and output *ahem* and adjust the intake accordingly. It's full of weirdness.
It's also wonderful. Christmas, the first snow, splashing in the water at a beach, stars, sledding, little trinkets, silly little games. These things that fall under the radar of adults are wonders in the eyes of little kids. Having kids (or spending time with kids) can give everything a fresh perspective. Last night I took Ella to MedPlus (an after-hours clinic) because I suspected she had an ear infection. It's rare that one of our girls gets alone time with one of us, so this trip to the doctor was a treat for Ella. She even loved the waiting room. She counted chairs and looked at a magazine and breathed, "I love this place Mommy." LOL. She did well with the doctor, who diagnosed an ear infection. The nurses asked me if she goes to school yet. When I said no, they said she doesn't need to. She got a dinosaur sticker (she picked it over a butterfly, balloons, and a flower) and said she was going to scare Amelia with it. Goofy kid.
The girls have come to expect that if they do well during a doctor appointment, they get a treat from Tim Horton's afterward. Since it was so cold, I decided we'd go inside last night. Ella picked chocolate milk and a donut with tons of sprinkles. I had coffee and a blueberry bagel. Ella picked the table we sat at and as we sat there, she started dancing to the music and swinging her feet. I took a picture and sent it to Steve, who was having popcorn with Mia while they watched Chicken Little. It struck me how much she was enjoying this. I remembered the time Dad took me to Big Boy for dessert one night after dinner. Just me. It stuck in my memory as a special time. Like the time I got to go with him on a trip to Grandpa and Grandma's house (he had a meeting nearby). I got to sit in the front seat and we had cheese popcorn. Memories like those are important.
We needed to go to Target after that to buy a baby shower gift for a friend and more baby wipes for us. Ella helped me pick the card, the toy, and the bib. At the end of the trip we went to the dollar bins and I let her pick out a plush flower with a bendable stem. We picked one for Mia, and one for Nora. She wanted me to have one too, so we picked the last color (blue) for Daddy just to complete the collection. Having Ella with me made the trip fun and memorable. The world is a nicer, more exciting place through her eyes. I love my girls and all they teach me.

Fly-by post

Just a quick update:
- Nora got tooth number 2! She now has her two front bottom teeth.
- We're getting Nora on a more regular sleeping schedule. I'm loving the added free time (well, time with two hands instead of one while I hold Nora) and extra sleep.
- I'm starting week two of the TurboFire/Chalean Extreme hybrid. I'm sore! But I know I'll get great results that will make it all worth it.
- We had an interesting morning trying to make it out of the house for church yesterday. Nora had a blowout diaper that required a bath. As we were about to walk out the door, Mia took a drink of her milk and dumped it all over herself, the coffee table, and the floor (the lid wasn't on tight). She needed a complete outfit change. We were late to church, but we made it. I'm convinced that I needed to hear that sermon and forces were working to keep us away. I came away excited about my ministry (I think God wants us to take care of our bodies as much as our mind and spirit but church doesn't usually address that). I think God uses our struggles and hurts to minister to others currently going through the same things.
- Ella has been accident-free! Mia is up next for PTing.
- The girls all play together. Kind of. Ella and Mia play together and Nora sits nearby and gnaws on a toy. Sometimes they all giggle at each other and dance. I love it.
- Steve is doing awesome at work.
- Small group started again. So far I like the book and it's so nice to have some kid-free, adult time. Apparently I'm big on self-improvement this year. :)
- We're starting to get rid of things. So if you're about my height (5'4") and between a 12 and 16, I may have some clothes for you. Most of it I'll give away, but there are a few items that I'm asking a little money for since they were rarely worn and rather pricey (two pant suits with jackets, size 13 pants, size medium jacket. I paid about $200 and have worn them less than 10 times in 5 years. I'm asking $50). We also have some baby items we're ready to give up (a bouncer right now). Let me know if you need something like that or know someone who does.
- We're also looking for new (to us) living room furniture. A couch, a loveseat, a recliner. Please let us know if you know of someone getting new furniture.
I think that covers it for news from our house. I hope you're all doing well and 2011 is off to a good start!