Birds of a feather

Just a quick thought today: who are you surrounding yourself with?

I've thought more and more about this lately. I don't have a lot of time to invest in relationships. My marriage and kids take up a lot of my time and I devote a good chunk of my time to my fitness (and with it, my family, my future, my psychological well-being, etc.). As a result, I've begun limiting time I spend with negative people. Negative people suck your positivity and bring down your mood. Why would you want that?

By nature, I'm an introvert. In other words, being around people tends to drain me. I need time by myself, or at least quiet time off in a corner, to recharge. If the people I'm around are negative, it's even worse. I get frustrated. Some people aren't even negative, but they're takers. There's no give with them and they will suck you dry if you let them. Limit your time with them. If they're family, I don't advocate cutting them out of your life unless they are really toxic and damaging. But it's not a relationship you need to invest a lot of time and energy in.

I'm trying to be more positive too. I don't want to be a gossip or someone people avoid because all I do is talk about ME and my life. I want to be a person people enjoy being around and enrich their life. Part of that is just being more conscious of my mood and what I say. I decide if I am happy. I can find the positive if I look for it. To be honest, I don't need to look very hard to find the good in my life. I've started surrounding myself with more positive, like-minded people. If someone is supportive and stubbornly positive, I want them near me. I've "liked" and friended more and more people like this, especially in the fitness field. It keeps me motivated and thinking positively. You begin to reflect the people around you.

So who are you reflecting?

Christmas Letter 2010

Merry Christmas! 2010 has been a big year for us.

Steve began a new job in April and currently works at the IT help desk at United Bank and Trust. He loves this change in job, since this is closer to what he wants to do as a career. After being there eight months, he's taking on more responsibility and is moving towards a network administrative job. At home, he's been honing his culinary skills and even posts his recipes on a blog.

Paula has shifted from working part-time to being a stay-at-home mom full-time. She recently took on Beachbody coaching to build her credibility in the fitness field. She plans to certify to teach Turbo Kick in 2011, moving towards her goal of combining her love of fitness with counseling. Since April, Paula has lost most of her pregnancy weight and has completed a round of TurboFire. She's been working with the girls at home, teaching Ella more words and Mia more numbers and letters. As the organizer of the house, she keeps things running smoothly. She also joined MOPS and appreciates the (kid-free!) time with other moms.

Ella turned four in November and is now potty trained! She's learning to spell more words and can sound out some written words. She's very smart and likes to negotiate, whether for a lighter punishment or extra cookies. Of the girls, she is definitely the boss.

Amelia is two and a half and talks like she's 70. She carries on the most entertaining conversations. She's our sweet, sensitive child and is very affectionate. She adores her baby sister and loves to help. She also follows Steve around almost constantly when he's home and "helps" him make dinner. Mia can climb almost anything but will trip over nothing. She keeps Paula on her toes, especially when she tried to potty train herself...

Nora Ann was added to the family in April. Except for her hazel eyes and darker hair, she is the spitting image of Ella as a baby. She's good-natured and pretty easygoing. She loves to play with her sisters and is happiest when she's near them. Her current obsessions are books and shoes (as I'm typing this, she has a trail of books behind her and is sitting in a pile of shoes). She likes to dance and babbles a lot. Just this week, she started crawling and got her first tooth. She's now eight months old.

Steve and Paula celebrated their fifth anniversary earlier this month. With everything that has happened since the wedding, we're curious what 2011 holds. We hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, and warm. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Scotts!

Houston, we have a crawler!

Nora has been getting around pretty well for a few weeks now. She'd kinda scoot backwards, sit up, twist, and scoot some more and get where she wanted to go. She was sort of crawling backwards too, but not using her legs, just shoving herself backwards with her hands. About a week ago she would get on her hands and knees and rock. I predicted she'd crawl before Christmas. I was right.

Yesterday she was trying to get Steve's shoes. Nora loves shoes and slippers. Apparently they're just the right size to plant on the floor between her legs and gnaw on them. (Still no teeth.) I glanced over in time to see her moving her hands forward and then her knees. And then she did it again! Steve saw it too. She's only done it once or twice since then, so I don't think she realizes she's figured out a better way to get around, but she did it. This will make Christmas MUCH more interesting. :)

5 years and counting

Today was our fifth wedding anniversary. Crazy, to think back over everything that's happened and realize it's all been packed into five years. We've had three kids, bought a house, earned a masters degree, changed jobs, bought a car and a minivan, lost two grandparents, been through parents' health issues, been to seven graduations (all immediate family - apparently we're well-educated), and celebrated the weddings of two siblings and the births of three nieces (soon to be four). We've been blessed more than burdened and we're happy.

I know I say this a lot, but Steve is my best friend and the best husband I could have imagined. He makes me laugh, he's supportive and shares my burdens, he takes care of me, and he gets my goofy jokes and thinks I'm funny. On our wedding day, I loved him. But I had no idea how much my love for him would grow and deepen. Without a doubt, having our daughters has been one of the single greatest bonds. It's like when each girl was born, I'd watch Steve with them and fall more in love with him. It's been absolutely amazing to watch him as a dad. I am so grateful that he is the father to our girls. I could go on and on about him and the things he does for me and why I love him, but I won't. God knew what He was doing, giving me Steve. Thanks, God.

Happy anniversary, Steve. I hope we have many, many years to come and they're a bit less eventful than the first five. ;) I love you.

The Number Post

- 4 - Ella is now 4. At her appointment, she got 4 shots and we found out she is 40 lbs and 41 inches tall.

- All 4s - Nora gets on 'em and rocks. She is SO close to crawling.

- 0 - The number of teeth Nora has. Still.

- 8 - Number of lbs left until I reach my pre-pregnancy weight. :) Also the number of months old Nora is and the number of months Steve has been at UBT.

- 5th - The anniversary Steve and I celebrate tomorrow! Actually our anniversary is tomorrow but we're celebrating Saturday. Leslie and Paul are keeping the girls at their apartment so we get kid-free time. I love them anyhow, but I love them even more for that!

- 3 - The number of little girls in our house that are almost constantly making noise. Ella and Mia chatter endlessly. Nora babbles and shrieks. At least it's usually happy noise.

- 50-something - The number of ornaments I'm guessing are on our tree. There are a lot.

- Too high to count - The number of toys in our house. We're going to keep Christmas small this year and probably weed out the toys we do have.

- 1/2-ish - The number of inches of snow on the ground. Kinda sad. But there's snow in the forecast.

- 28 - The age I keep thinking I am.

- 27 - The age I actually am. I'm not sure why I think I'm older than I am. The year I was 26, I thought I was 25. Maybe I've matured a lot in the last few years?

- 32 - Mia's age in months. That's about how many times a day she shrieks. She's always screaming. That's also about the number of times she shows affection in a day. She's very sweet and very loud.

- 78 - The number of minutes until Steve gets home from work. And the number of minutes in my workout. I better go... ;)

Best quotes of the night

While driving through the Christmas lights at the fairgrounds...

Mia: He's my best little big fella. (We can't for the life of us remember what this was in reference to, but I was dying with laughter.)

Mia: Can I go in the balloon with the elf? He's my best friend.

Ella: It's a clown! (Looking at an elf.)

Ella: I want to get lost in the forest. I don't get scared in the forest.I walk around and I find my cat. I get really happy when I find my cat.

Ella: (When asked who her best friend is) Stacy. (From Phineas and Ferb. Then I asked if Mia was her friend.) No, Mia is my SISTER. (I explained Mia can be her friend and her sister.) Mia is my sister and my friend and Stacy is my friend. Two friends is enough.

Ella: (About a minute after Steve went into the store.) Mommy. I think Daddy got lost in the store.

Ella is 4! (alternately titled: where did the time go?!)

Ella is 4! At this time 4 years ago, I think I was just going from the delivery room to my room (she was born at 9:50 am). I was exhausted from being in labor all night. I know I was swollen from the 12 hours of IV fluids. I was sore for obvious reasons. And I think I was a bit in shock and feeling overwhelmed. And *hungry.* That meal of french toast will remain in my memory as the best meal EVER.

Ella was tiny. I mean, she was normal, full-term. But she was a small 6 lbs 14 oz. And when the doctor put this squalling, slimy, tiny person on my stomach, I didn't have a clue what to do with her. I was so relieved that the labor and delivery was over but kinda felt like, "well, now what do we do?" She was born on a Sunday morning and we didn't go home until Tuesday evening. There wasn't a single issue, but we were a bit scared to take her home and take care of her ourselves. I was a total newbie in this situation. I think the newest baby I'd held was at least a week old. I was 5 when Leslie was born and didn't have any nieces or nephews. None of our close friends had kids yet. Steve had more experience, what with having had two siblings born when he was in high school. I leaned on him a lot that first week.

The day that Steve went back to work, I was terrified. In a lot of ways, that was the day I feel like I really had to step up and be a parent. I couldn't hand her off to someone else. I was solely responsible for her. As a result, I don't think I ate or used the bathroom more than once that day. I don't think I put her down other than to change her diaper. I remember her sleeping on my lap and all of a sudden my lap was hot and wet. I'm not sure why, but I was absolutely convinced I'd lift her up to find my lap full of blood. It wasn't. Her diaper had just leaked all over me. But my mom called me back shortly after that and I just sobbed. New mom fears and post-partum hormones paired together are a horrible thing.

Things got easier. I realized I could put her down. When she got fussy, I'd pack her into the car seat and we'd go drive. Overall she was a happy, easy baby. She slept well, which helped immensely (lack of sleep is my kryptonite). Each new stage was a bit easier, while also bringing new challenges. Life got busier, we moved, new babies came, and all of a sudden Ella is 4. She long ago gave her her bottle, her pacifier, and her crib. She's even given up her toddler bed and diapers. She knows all kinds of things. She can count to 20 (although a few of those teens trip her up). She knows all her shapes and colors and most of her letters and numbers. She can even spell a few words. She can build impressive towers and run and jump and kick a ball. She tells jokes and sings songs and tries to cheer up her sisters when they cry. She's usually moving and always talking. At some point, my tiny baby grew up into this little person. I'm so proud of this little person Ella has become, but it's a little bittersweet. When someone tells me she'll be driving, in college, married with kids of her own before I know it, I believe it. Look how much she's grown already.
A few hours old.

A few days old.

One year old.

Two.

Three.

My big four year old.

All in the last week...

- Monday we had my parents, brother, and sister over for dinner. I love my family. Although with the timing of their arrival, I ended up with an audience for my workout. For the HIIT workout, it was Mom and the girls. She was impressed. Dad and Reid came in for the upper body strength training. I prefer not having an audience but you gotta fit in the workout when you can.

- Mom and Dad came over Tuesday morning for a bit too. The girls love having them here, they help out a bit, and I get adult conversation. Wins all around! The rest of Tuesday was uneventful, I think. It kinda gets lost in the rest of the week (you'll see).

- Ella is now potty trained! Steve had the brilliant idea of putting a sticker on a fishbowl and Ella earned scoops of water each time she stayed dry and/or did her business on the potty. Once she reached the star, she got a goldfish. She reached it on Wednesday and we made a huge deal out of it. We made a family trip to Meijer for her to pick out a fish and underwear, taking lots of pictures along the way. It worked beautifully. She's only had a handful of accidents since then and has worn underwear except for bedtime. She's stayed dry during nap and even kept her pull-up dry last night. Awesome! We haven't left the house much yet, but I think she'll do okay as long as we plan for it and use the potty right before we leave. I'm so proud of her! She turns four on Friday.

- Ella learned about death. Sadly, we are no good with fish. Goldy lived with us for about 36 hours. Poor Ella was devastated. She loved that fish. We tried again. Judd made it 24 hours. Poor kid. We're thinking we'll get an actual tank with a filter and buy purified water and some of that water conditioner next time. We'll also ask which fish don't die easily.

- Nora started purring. She keeps learning new noises. They're great. She also does this awesome bobbing dance. When she gets excited, she wrings her hands and moves her feet in circles, although that's not new. She's awesome. As I type this, she's "talking" to Steve. She giggles at her sisters all the time. OH, and she smacks her lips. She does it most often when I have my evening snack. Hilarious.

- I tried a pomegranate. Silly me, I didn't look up how to get the seeds out of one before I sliced it open and tried to pry them out with a spoon. Half the kitchen was speckled with the purplish-red juice. It was a sticky mess. Apparently it works best to score the sides, split it open, and pop the seeds out underwater. The rind part floats while the seeds sink. I still haven't decided if I like it even to buy one again. It was a pain to de-seed. Later that night, I prepared a bowl of veggies with teriyaki sauce. Yes, I'm a little weird and love my veggies. Unfortunately, I tried to set the bowl down on the shelf next to the recliner. There wasn't enough room and it tipped. Teriyaki sauce everywhere. The arm and side of the recliner. Down the wall. On the carpet. On the heating vent. Some of the veggies fell down the vent. Steve came home a few minutes later and asked what I'd been cooking. Nothing really, he smelled the teriyaki veggies that fell in the vent right before the heat kicked on. That was Wednesday.

- Wednesday night (yeah, that was a big day here) Mia complained her stomach hurt. I figured she was hungry because she didn't eat much of her dinner. Nope. She threw up all over her bed. That was about 9:30. She felt better after that and slept pretty well the rest of the night, except for around 1:30 when her crying woke up Nora. I ended up feeding Nora before going back to bed. Around 2:30, I heard Ella coughing and got up to check on her. Again, vomit all over the bed. Steve got up and we changed her bedding and clothes and started our second load of vomit-covered sheets that night. Luckily both just threw up once and were done. Steve felt pretty horrible all day at work but never got sick. I didn't feel great but not too bad either. Friday was worse for me, although I never threw up either. Thankfully Steve was able to work from home. That's how he got the unlucky job of explaining death to our almost-four year old.

- Saturday morning we got bunk beds from my brother's house and a dresser from my grandma's house. The girls are now sleeping in the bunk beds that Reid and I had when we were little. Full circle, huh? And I'm excited about the dresser. I'm pretty sure it came from my great-grandma, who we unwittingly named Nora after (her name was Nora Alice and she went by Alice). My cousin Brian and his fiance Rebecca brought them to us, so we had them, Reid, and Leslie stay for lunch. After they left, Steve picked up Isaac so he could help rake leaves. Our yard isn't that big and we didn't think there were that many trees, but we get a ridiculous amount of leaves and pine needles in our yard. Poor Isaac had been at a lock-in the night before and had barely slept. By the end of the day, Steve and Isaac were beat. We had a quiet evening at home.

- Today we didn't do much. After the crazy week we had, that was fine with us. I did have a freaky dream early this morning. In it, we were at Steve's high school reunion and he kissed an old friend's head in front of me. The girl and her other friends were mean and snooty. They were prettier than me, thinner than me, and obviously had more primping time than me. And they ignored me. When I pulled him aside and asked about it, he rolled his eyes. We got into a big fight. I woke up then and couldn't get back to sleep. That picture of him nuzzling another girl's head was SO vivid. But the man I married is nothing like the man in my dream. He held me and reassured me he was not a jerk, would never do that, and he loves me and only me. I know that but I really needed to hear it with that picture in my head. Life is good when the man in reality is better than the one in your dreams.

Recently heard in the Scott house

Ella: Raking leaves is my favorite thing!
Mommy: Good, you can help Daddy this weekend.
Ella: (pause) Well, raking is Daddy's favorite thing. Mine is jumping in the leaves!

(after discussing scarecrows)
Mia: Why aren't they in the garden?
Mommy: We don't have a garden.
Mia: We have flowers.
Mommy: Where?
Mia: On my bed. (She has a flowered comforter.)

Mia: I like piece-a-ghetti.

Mommy: Mia, keep your hands off the tv. (Later) Mia, keep your hands off the window. (Later) Mia, keep your hands off the laptop.
Mia: But Mommy, I want my hands on the books!
Mommy: Oh. That's fine. Go get books.

(after doing her business on the potty (!!!))
Mommy: Ella, you're awesome!
Ella: Mommy, I'm not a rock star. I'm a girl!

Ella: When I was born, I was a little boy. And that means I was BORING.

Mia: (playing with my flower necklace) But where is its garden?

Mia: There's a scary ghost! (on the Cheez-it box)
Mommy: Say "go away, ghost!"
Mia: Go away ghost! (pause) Mommy, it didn't work.
Mommy: (turns box around)
Mia: Now there's an angry tree!
Mommy: Tell it to go away.
Mia: Go away angry tree!
Mommy: (hides the box behind the box of Oatmeal Squares)

There's plenty more that I can't currently think of. My kids are hilarious.

More random thoughts

- This morning, a man I don't know (at least I don't think I know) was in a car accident in Spring Arbor with his two grandkids. He died later at the hospital. The kids are okay but they lost their mom a few years ago. The whole is so sad and a sharp reminder to be careful and be thankful.

- Ella is making progress with the potty training. We still have her in pull ups but she stays dry most of the time and usually goes on the potty. I'm thinking we'll try her in real underwear again this weekend. It's easier when Steve is home too and we're usually doing laundry then anyhow. Mia will sit on the potty but hasn't peed on there once yet. Right now we're working on getting her more comfortable there so she can pee there once she has more bladder control. If we get even one out of pull ups/diapers, it'll save us a good $60 a month. Two of them out would practically save us a car payment.

- Nora is back to sleeping through the night pretty much every night. Mia is still not. I'm SO thankful that 2/3 are good sleepers. I've also come to the conclusion that I require a ridiculous amount of sleep to be a good, patient parent. Coffee and cardio help immensely too.

- Halloween (I will post pictures) was interesting. We went to Trunk or Treat and we cut in line. I don't feel bad. I have 3 kids under 4, it was cold, and we only did 1/3 of the cars. Plus we found out later that there were over 5000 people there. Still don't feel bad. Ella was a cheerleader, Mia was an Arabian princess (Ella's costume from last year), and Nora was a pink teddy bear. We also passed out candy the next night and I was reminded of how much I dislike other people's kids. Teaching manners and discipline isn't THAT hard. But it does take consistency, which is apparently more than the general public wants to do. (Friends, I like your kids. Thank you for being good parents and teaching your kids manners. I appreciate more than you know. Seriously. One of my biggest fears since my friends started having kids is that I wouldn't like said kids.)

- Becky is having a girl! I have no idea what name ideas they have yet. It appears that the grandparents are stuck in the pink world of princesses for a while longer. This means we'll have four nieces and no nephews. That's a lot of little girls when you add our three.

- There's more info on my other blog, but I'm down 42 lbs now. Only 18 left to my pre-pregnancy weight! I have a few sizes left to go too, but I'm happy with my progress and reasonably happy with my appearance now.

- October was a rough month and I was happy to see it go. November has been somewhat kinder already.

- Today was Liz and James' due date with Annika. She's now five weeks old and doing pretty well. I am so happy for them. James goes back to work on Monday and the grandmas had to go back home. Please keep praying for Liz as she continues to adjust to life with three kids and learns how to handle all three alone.

- I had a horrible hair cut last weekend. A bob, shorter than I wanted, all one length. No layers whatsoever. My head looked like a triangle and my hair looked flat. I gave it a day or two to try to adjust. It made me cry when I saw myself in the mirror. I called and said I wasn't happy. They were very gracious and had me come back in. This sweet girl fixed it. It's still far too short for a ponytail but I like it now. Moral of the story: speak up if you're not happy. Too often I let things go and I am so glad I didn't just let this go.

- I'm in a somber mood today. Maybe it's the weather and the news? I'm happy for what we have and our little life, but it's definitely a somber thankfulness and not remotely giddy.

Love is not a puddle

Last night I was trying to feed Nora one last time and get her to fall asleep. I was reading through my Facebook newsfeed when someone's name caught my eye. I realized her last name was her maiden name again, not her married name. Uh oh. She's an acquaintance, not someone I know very well, so I'm pretty oblivious to what's happening in her life. The only clue was in her bio, something along the lines of, "life took an unexpected turn and I'm trusting God." It made me immensely sad. She's my age and it appears her marriage is done. I don't know why. Maybe he was abusive or cheated. Maybe they "fell out of love" (I hate this phrase and will come back to it). Whatever the reason, it's sad to me when two people who planned to spend their lives together decide that's no longer possible. Sad doesn't seem like the right word. I don't feel pity for them. It's deeper, like my heart hurts a bit that their dreams of how life would work were dashed. And worse yet, it seems to happen to anyone and everyone. I cannot tell you the number of people on my friends list who are my age or younger and are divorced. Some are Christians, some are not. It really doesn't seem to make a difference, which is really sad. It breaks my heart and makes me wonder what is going wrong that so many people are now divorced.

Maybe part of it is just the way society is now. We want what we want and we want it now, with no effort on our part. Anything that's broken needs to be fixed immediately or thrown away. I *deserve* to be happy and you don't make me happy anymore. If it's hard or involves pain, I don't want anything to do with it. No wonder marriages don't work anymore. Marriage is work. If the person you marry is a good match for you, it will be easier, but it's still a relationship that requires compromise and maintenance. You won't always get your way, sometimes you have to swallow your pride and admit fault, there won't always be warm fuzzies. But the image we're fed is that you marry the one who makes you happy, your Prince Charming. Happily ever after is never shown; they end the movie at the wedding. But the wedding is the least important part of a marriage.

Love is a commitment, not a feeling. Feelings change. Saying you love someone but you're not in love with them is ridiculous. The honest thing to say would be, "I love you but I don't feel like working at our relationship because it's not exciting anymore." Love is not a puddle. It's not something you fall in and out of. But with the way romantic comedies portray love now, we think it is. When the fuzzy feelings disappear and things get rough, we think the love is gone. It's not if we decide it's not. Now, you need to be careful who you marry. Sometimes relationships are a lot harder than they should be because the person isn't a good complement to you. Date long enough to know someone and know if you can make it work forever. If it's hard work all the time, don't get married. Marriage isn't something to rush into (says the girl who was engaged 5 weeks into a relationship and married 6 months later). If someone who truly cares about you expresses concern, listen to them. If people did this, I think we could avoid a lot of divorces today.

Guard your marriage. Don't let divorce be an option. Did you know that divorce is like an epidemic? Meaning that if the people you spend time with (family members, friends, coworkers) are divorced, you're more likely to get divorced? Seeing the people around you "solve" their problems that way, you're likely to view it as an option. Don't let it be. Following this line of reasoning a bit further, you're very lucky and blessed if your parents are still married. If you saw your parents fight fairly and work it out, you're lucky! They gave you a blueprint for making a marriage work. You know that conflict is normal and can be worked out. You can learn by their example and ask them for guidance and advice. This is becoming more and more rare. I think that having parents who are still married and love each other dramatically increases your odds of a happy, healthy marriage. You can learn from other people's mistakes and learn what NOT to do, but it's easier to learn from someone else's good example. So if your parents love each other, count yourself very blessed. And parents, one of the best things you can do for your kids is to love your spouse. Seriously.

Now, Steve and I got engaged and married very quickly. And then had kids quickly and close together. Throw in grad school and buying a house and we're pretty much nuts. But we have a pretty solid marriage. Don't misunderstand me, we fight. Usually over stupid little things. But we're both fortunate to have parents who have been married 30+ years and love each other. So we know how to fight fairly and work things out. From day one, we had that advantage. Thank you Mom and Dad, and Doug and Linda. By showing us how to make marriage work, you've helped make our marriage strong. Don't think that your parents being married means your marriage will be a breeze. It simply means they've shown you how to make it work and equipped you with tools to do it.

It would be incredibly naive of me to think Steve and I are immune to divorce. We're not. We guard against it though. We try to connect each day, which can be hard with three little kids. We try to do date nights once every month or two to make sure we get some kid-free time. We do little things for each other. I try to greet Steve enthusiastically when he gets home from work. He tries to do thoughtful things for me, like giving me a break from the girls after a really rough day. It's not usually overtly romantic things, like roses or chocolates, but things that are considerate of each other.

But let me back up a bit. Steve and I were 21 when we went on our first date. Things got serious very quickly and we didn't do things the way you're *supposed* to. We talked about past relationships on the first date. I called him the next day instead of waiting three. We didn't kiss until two weeks later. We were engaged three weeks after that, five short weeks after our first date. We had a double wedding six months later. By our first anniversary, we had a baby and I was in grad school. Our fifth anniversary is about six weeks away. We now have three kids, a house, a minivan, and I have my masters degree. It's worked great for us but it's not a schedule I recommend that anyone else follow.

Before Steve and I really even had a conversation, I knew a fair amount about him. I knew his parents had a good marriage, so he probably had similar views on marriage as I did. I knew he was good with kids, so he'd probably be a good dad. I knew he worked hard on his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, so I knew he'd stick around and try to make things work even when things got hard. I knew he grew up going to church, so he was probably a Christian. Our first date confirmed that and showed he respects his mom (and everyone else) and is a geek (something I am familiar and comfortable with). He was easy to talk to and open about himself. We were both in that place where we were being totally honest about who we were and what we wanted, because we didn't want to make a relationship work by pretending to be something we weren't. We were both ready for a commitment and knew what we were looking for. It quickly became clear we'd found it. Everyone who knew either of us well supported it. I really think we would have backed up and reconsidered if one of our parents, siblings, or close friends had had doubts about it. I just want to stress this again, think twice if your family/friends aren't supportive. Odds are they're trying to save you some heartache.

Steve is truly my partner. He's my support and friend. We genuinely like each other. We do fight. Don't be afraid of conflict. Work it out. Be nice but be honest. If you avoid conflict, you're probably hiding who you are and how you really feel. That's not conducive to a healthy marriage. Be honest. Working out conflicts and finding a compromise makes your relationship stronger, not weaker.

To sum up: know who you're marrying before the wedding. Guard against divorce. Find older couples with good marriages, especially if your parents aren't in a good marriage. Fight fair and be honest. And love isn't a puddle.

What a week!

Last week was...rough. It started innocently enough. My heart rate monitor (HRM) was out for repairs (it was burning through batteries faster than it should). A minor annoyance. Nora hit a growth spurt and that phase where she doesn't want to sleep because the world is too interesting to sleep and miss ANY of it. So she would stay up late and either wake up in the middle of the night or early in the morning to eat (growth spurts mean extra feedings). I want to note a couple of things: 1. Steve is great about taking his turn getting up with the girls. But during the week, it falls on me. He has to leave by 6:30 to get to work in Tecumseh at 7:30. Most of the time, it's not an issue. I stay up an hour later to feed Nora one more time and then she sleeps until 8:30 or 9:00. Not last week. 2. Lack of sleep due to kids (whether for infants, sickness, or whatever) is completely different from pulling all-nighters in college. An all-nighter is a choice. And odds are you can just sleep whenever during the day to catch up on sleep. With kids, if they're up, you need to be up too. They completely dictate your sleep schedule and you don't get a choice. And unless you nap when they do, you don't get to catch up on missed sleep during the day. But at the same time, you don't want to waste the couple hours a day you get to yourself on sleep. I spend mine working out, to lose the baby weight. It's rough. As someone who requires a lot of sleep to not be a total bear, it's really rough. At best, I'm short on patience. At worst, I'm a growling, bipolar mess whose tantrums rival those of the crankiest two year old. In other words, the lack of sleep and missing HRM was enough to make it a rough week.

The beginning of the week, it was just those things and the occasional whining. Thursday morning hit and we had MOPS. I really like MOPS and so do the girls. But I was exhausted and MOPS starts about the time we normally get up. (I know, I'm spoiled by the amount of sleep the girls (usually) let me get. But, trust me on this, they get a much better mom by letting me sleep that much.) I decided the plus of adult time and Tim Horton's coffee outweighed the minus of getting up. Now, getting to and from MOPS is the headache part. Being there is great. But it's a mad rush to get all three girls freshly diapered and clothed and buckled in and to MOPS on time. And I swear they walk in slow-motion when they know we're running late. But MOPS was good, a highlight of the week, even. But then on the way home, I got pulled over. I was confused because I knew the plates were current, I wasn't speeding, I used my blinker, etc. It was a fix-it ticket. The right brake light was out. I had no way of knowing and the cop was really nice about the whole thing. But it was another thing not going my way. That afternoon I realized that the phone was out. We were switching from Comcast to Vonage that day and I could make phone calls but not receive them. I found that out when I received an email rather than a phone call about my HRM. It was dead. No fixing it. They could offer me 30% off a new one though. Sigh.

Now, I need to say that there were high points throughout the week. Wednesday night, we had Reid over for a birthday dinner. Leslie and Paul came later for brownies and ice cream. I love my family so it was great to have the majority of my siblings over (Tracy and Donovan, we missed you). MOPS was a nice break from kids and I like the other women in my group. Thursday night and Friday morning, my parents came over. I love it when they're here. Adult interaction, more people to entertain the girls, and I just like my parents. I also got to order my new HRM Friday morning, which was exciting. I wasn't thrilled to spend that extra money, but new fitness stuff is always exciting to me. And it came Saturday! Unfortunately, I'm nowhere near the end of the badness that was last week.

Back to Thursday night. Mia was whiny and had no appetite. The whining is normal, not eating is not. She was also especially cuddly, which usually means she's not feeling good. The girls napped late too, another sign they're not up to par. They played with Mom and Dad and went to bed without a problem. 10:30pm Mia woke up crying. She was really hot so I took her temperature. 102. I gave her ibuprofen and she went to sleep. But she woke up a lot that night, either too hot or cold because she'd kicked her blankets off. Luckily Nora slept better that night. Friday during the day was okay. It was obvious Mia wasn't feeling great, but she was doing okay.

Friday night was a different story. I was looking forward to it, because Steve would be home for the weekend and able to help with the not-sleeping girls. Well, Mia kept waking up crying, even before 10pm. Steve brought her back downstairs and held her for a while. He tried to take her back upstairs later but she started crying again, so he decided to bring her back down for a while. At that point, I was in the room below the stairs and heard a huge crash. Too big to be any of the girls. I ran to the bottom of the stairs and saw Steve kneeling on the landing. I walked up to see Mia sitting on one of the five steps above the landing. Mia looked fine but Steve was obviously in pain. Apparently he was walking back downstairs when his dress sock slipped on a stair and he skidded on his butt down to the landing. He instinctively pulled Mia into his chest and she was okay. But he had a nasty goose egg on his hip. It immediately swelled and was hot to the touch. Later it bruised. Once downstairs he paced for a while and said he felt like he might throw up. He said it felt like his leg jammed up into his hip. Ugh. Eventually his nausea passed and we were able to lay Mia down. I went to bed and Steve stayed up for a while with Nora. That night was LONG. Mia kept waking up, crying. Steve couldn't get comfortable in bed and ended up only sleeping 4 hours and spending the rest of the night in the recliner. Nora woke up early because she was hungry. Once up for the day, the girls were whiny. Ella looked funny, kinda glazed. When I took her temperature, it was 103. Mia's was about 99 at that point. Nora's was 100. We gave the older girls ibuprofen and Nora Tylenol. Steve bought some ibuprofen for himself and said that was helping him (we didn't have any in the house because I'm allergic to it. I'm fine having it in the house, but normally Steve takes Tylenol out of convenience if he needs anything. But Tylenol doesn't help with inflammation, which is why I can take it.). We cancelled our plans for the rest of the weekend.

Saturday night was slightly better than Friday. Mia was mostly better by then and the other girls just had the low-grade temps. But I still had to get up multiple times with Mia. On Sunday, I was an exhausted, cranky mess. I had that feeling that "this is my life now, and it will be this way forever." Endless cycles of diapers, feeding, wiping noses, sleepless nights. I know it's not always like that, but after a week of too little sleep, it *felt* that way. I spent a good chunk of Sunday crying. Last night, Steve gave me some time for myself. I shaved my legs and trimmed my nails and started feeling more human again. I stayed up with Nora until about 11:30 (so early!) and had to get up with Mia about midnight because she was scared of the thunder (really? A thunderstorm at the end of October?!). But they slept through the night and didn't wake me up until 9:30 this morning! I feel like a new person. This week will be good, much better than last week. All of us girls have rattly coughs but no fevers. Mia and Ella have runny noses too, but overall, they're okay. The whining is much less. Steve fixed the brake light on the van. We still have to have a cop sign off on it, but it's fixed. My new HRM is here and I like it. Steve has a nasty bruise and is still a bit sore, but he's moving easier. The scale is up a little, but not as much as I expected after having Chinese last night. I feel a million times better after a full night's sleep. Steve and I have a party to go to on Friday night, without kids! Saturday night is Trunk or Treat with Leslie. I think I'm going to get my hair cut this weekend too, which should help me feel better about myself (more like me and less like a frumpy mom, which is how I've been feeling). Becky is scheduled for her big ultrasound this week. Liz and James got to bring tiny little Annika home last week. People have been noticing that I'm thinner. I do have to take all three girls to an appointment on Thursday, but thanks to MOPS, taking all of them someplace on my own is less daunting. It feels like all is right with the world again. Thank God for a new week! :)

Disorganized thoughts

It's been a busy week. I already updated with Nora's stats, but Mia is doing fine too. We only have to go back to the allergist as needed.

I worked two days this week. Not much by most people's standards but with the doctor appointments figured in and my daily workouts, it was a hectic week for me. We had sitters here four days this week. I'm glad today is quieter. I did receive news yesterday that I'm still processing. Lifeways is not renewing their contract with Community Connections. Which means as of April 1, I don't have a job. Since I'm not working regularly, it's not going to impact our lives or income much at all. But I am on good terms with them and I've viewed that as our contingency plan, should anything happen to Steve's job (which is, thankfully, stable). Now I have this feeling of, "now what?" To be honest, doing evaluations and referrals is not what I want to do long-term. I want to combine my passion for fitness with counseling somehow, but I haven't quite figured out how to do it. I've been going back and forth for a while on the idea of getting certified to teach Turbo Kick. Me? Teach? I'm quiet and I don't like to be in charge (at least when it comes to anything other than my family). But I love being in shape and I want to spread that to other people and help them be happy and healthy too. I prayed for some sign. Maybe this is it. I need to do some research as far as where I could teach and if I would need a primary certification like ACE to teach there. So we'll see. If you think of it, pray for guidance for me in this area. I feel like this is the direction God is leading me in, but I'm not sure yet if this is the right step right now.

Speaking of prayers, I have friends that could use prayers right now. I'm not going to go into details, but different friends have been heavy on my heart this week. Family issues, premature babies, marital difficulties. Please pray for them too.

And this is such a tiny thing, but my heart rate monitor is in the shop for troubleshooting and repairs. I don't have any heart issues, but it tracks my heart rate while I exercise and calculates how many calories I burn. I miss it and honestly feel a little off without it. I haven't heard that they've received it, let alone if they've determined the issue yet (it was burning through batteries pretty quickly, like one a month). I think I might call this afternoon to make sure they have it and it didn't get lost in the mail.

I told you my thoughts are disorganized today. I feel somber for the people around me dealing with hefty issues and my coworkers that rely on that job, but thankful for my good life at the same time. I hug my kids a little tighter, kiss Steve a little longer, pray a little harder, try to reach out to more people. I'm more mindful of my blessings and try to be more patient with the minor irritants. Which reminds me, I ran over a possum in our driveway the other day. I assume it was playing dead and I didn't see it (the neighbor's cats run and fallen branches stick up a lot farther). Both tires ran over it. I was a bit scared to get out and see what it was, so I backed up. Yup, I ran over it again with both tires. And then I saw it, mouth open, tongue hanging out. It was huge. Not sure what to do and knowing Steve was in the middle of giving the girls baths, I decided it was already dead and pulled up into my usual parking spot in the driveway. Yes, I ran over it again, for a total of six times. And I was still scared it was going to attack me or something. I grabbed my stuff and ran to the house. About an hour later, the girls were in bed and Steve and I checked to see if it was still there or if it had somehow survived being run over by a minivan six times. Still there, still dead. What do you do with a dead possum? We live in town. I went inside to feed Nora while Steve dealt with it. He ended up burying it in the backyard, way back in the corner where the girls never play. To make the whole more absurd, he did it wearing a tee shirt, pajama pants, and his black dress shoes, lol. He told me they were next to the door and they were the quickest ones to slip on. The weirdest part? Dad found a dead possum in front of their house this week too. Kat, my awesome friend who watched the girls for me three times this week, said maybe he dumped it in our driveway to mess with us. I had a good laugh about that.

It's been a week. Weird stuff, big news, lots of things to pray about. I'm ready for a quieter weekend. :)

Things that have been on my mind

Nora is officially 6 months old. Crazy! Where did the time go? She's not trying to crawl yet, which is fine. Six months is a little early for that anyhow. But she is sitting up pretty well. She can balance for quite a while as long as she doesn't try to look up at a standing adult. She tips pretty easily, so we make sure one of us is close enough to catch her or she's surrounded by pillows. (Our living room is carpeted, but the floor is still pretty hard and the carpet is old enough that it doesn't provide a whole lot of padding.)

I took Nora in for her 6 month well-child check yesterday. She weighs 18 lbs 11 oz. She's 27 inches long. 90th percentile for each. I'm not surprised. Each of our girls has stayed at the top of the charts until they start crawling and moving more. Then they thin out a bit. She's healthy and hitting all the milestones at the appropriate times. Dr. Adamczyk told me again I'm a great mom and my daughter is beautiful and perfect. (I adore him. He tells me this with each girl and it really helps me feel like I'm doing things well. As a young mom, that's been important for my confidence as a parent.)

This week is a bit nuts. Monday I worked and then came home to do a very long cardio WO. Tuesday I took Nora to her check up. This afternoon I work again (thankfully today is a rest day, so no late night WO). Tomorrow morning Mia goes back to the allergist (not sure if we'll need to go again soon, since she hasn't broken out in hives since before we went a month ago). Friday should be quieter, but Steve is going to a movie with his friends that night (he and Jared are wonderfully considerate husbands though and planned the outing for after bedtime). Saturday night we have a fall festival at the church and the girls will get to play games and decorate pumpkins. I was hoping for at least one quiet night soon, but the girls will love it so it will be worth it.

Now, this topic has been on my mind a lot lately and it honestly deserves its own post. But given my week and weekend, this will have to do for now. Bullying. It's been all over the news and media with all the suicides related to it recently. For the most part, I escaped bullying. I fell into the category of being one of the smart kids who wasn't too weird, quiet but normal, not quite cool but got along with everyone well. I was fine with that. I had good friends, I had boyfriends, I had activities to do, life was pretty good. And then I remember 8th grade. That was a miserable year for me. I had history after lunch with a teacher who was nice but clueless about what happened in his class. There were three girls in that class who, for whatever reason, didn't like me. Two of them had the right last names and so, mean or not, they were popular. The third wanted to be popular and had it out for me. She was the first person I met in Evart who was my age. We were friends, until she ditched me on the first day of school in 6th grade. She spread rumors about me but never went beyond that. Until 8th grade. She told the other two girls that I was spreading rumors about them. I wasn't. But they believed it and made that class miserable for me. They'd make comments about me, making sure I heard, wrote insults on my papers, and did all kinds of things to intimidate me. It got to the point that my stomach would knot up before that class. I'd feel cold and clammy and nauseous. I went home sick a lot that year. Teaches waived my absences since I was a good student. I wanted to switch schools. Monday was my favorite day of the week because I was in an advanced program and missed that class. Even thinking about it now brings back the cold terror I felt. That was 14 years ago.

The worst of it was when they wrote me a note. They threatened to wipe "that Tinkerbell smile off my face" if I didn't stop spreading rumors. How was I supposed to stop doing something I hadn't done?! Terrified, I gave the note to my parents. They called all three sets of parents. Popular girl #1 had the sweetest mom. She apologized up and down to my parents and promised her daughter would be punished. But her daughter ran that house and I know she never got in trouble for it. Popular girl #2 later bragged that her mom told her to do whatever she wanted and too bad for me if I couldn't defend myself. They were kinda white-trash people. The third girl's parents knew my parents. They sat all of us down to talk it out. I don't doubt she got into trouble for it. I don't remember a lot of what happened after that, but I think she backed off and without her fueling the fire, the whole thing died out. Thank God!

Looking back, I think the third girl just wanted to be accepted and bashing me was her way in. Different adults assured me she was jealous of me. I don't know. All I know is that we mostly avoided each other in high school and the times I've seen her since then, we've been sociable. She's single but has been successful in her business. In her early 20's, she bought a salon and has been running it successfully for 5-6 years now. I am happy for her. I would be lying if I said I like her now, but I understand now that she hurt me because she was somehow hurting. And I do wish her well in life.

Popular girl #1 was never kind. In 9th grade she switched schools because she wanted to play tennis and she considered herself too good for Evart after that. I don't think I saw her more than once or twice after that, which was fine by me. I'm guessing she married a rich guy and is still chasing popularity and material wealth, which sounds like a sad existence to me. Neither of those bring happiness.

Popular girl #2 and I avoided each other too. I don't think I've seen her since high school. My guess would be that she either still lives in Evart or a different small town and never went to college. If she got married, she's divorced by now, possibly with kids. She's as mean as ever. Why would I guess that? That's her mom's story and I think the apple didn't fall far from that tree.

Thinking about it and typing it out, I got that cold uneasiness in the pit of my stomach all over again. It's been 14 years! And I was fortunate that it was short-lived and they never physically did anything to me. Can you imagine the damage they could have done otherwise? Bullying is horrible. And with Facebook and Twitter and everything else now, it could be so much worse and inescapable, even at home. It needs to stop. I pray my girls never have to endure that. And even more, I pray we teach them to value others so much that they would never, ever inflict that on anyone else. Society-wide, I'm not sure how to stop it, but I think celebrities speaking out against it and drawing awareness to it is a great start. (For the record, God loves ALL people. As His children, we're supposed to love all people too. God will judge everyone for what they've done, and yes, that includes you. Alienating people for their choices is not loving them. Judging them is not loving them either, and it's not your job.) In my family and circle of influence, I can teach my kids to love other people and do good when and where they can. Thoughts?

This morning...

...I told Mia we were going to MOPS. "MOPS?" she asked. "But my bug bites are all gone." I then had to explain that MOPS wasn't the doctor's office. (Btw, she calls her hives bug bites.)

...I tried to dress Nora in a 3-6 month sleeper. She didn't fit and she cried. She'll be 6 months old on Saturday. Already! She can kind of sit up on her own. She balances pretty well but still tips over a lot. Before I know it she'll be running after her sisters.

...Ella told me she would always like me. I may refer her back to this post in the future.

...I successfully took all three girls to MOPS. I was also successful at getting them all back home. Trust me, that's an accomplishment.

...I saw my pre-pregnancy weight on the scale!...for Mia's pregnancy. Five pounds until Ella's and another twenty-five until Nora's, which is my goal. I'm getting less frustrated by it because I am doing what I can each day to get there and the weight is coming off. There are days now I even think I look thin!

...I discovered that another friend (and coworker) had her baby girl yesterday too. That makes three baby girls in three days. Shannon's baby (Charlotte) is doing great, not a single issue, and she's exactly the same size I was at birth. Liz's baby (Annika) is in the NICU, on CPAP, and may need a PICC (sp?) line for feedings. Her lungs aren't mature yet. Liz was discharged yesterday and said it was really difficult going home without Annika but is glad to be home with her husband and other kids. Please continue praying for them.

...I was very thankful for coffee. I am every morning, but this morning I was really tired and did NOT want to get out of bed. Nora didn't want to sleep last night so I got to bed late and I didn't sleep well because I knew I had to get up early today. I'm already looking forward to bed tonight. Nice, warm, soft bed...

...Ella peed on the potty twice and stayed dry in between! I think we may try underwear this weekend, since Steve will be home to help.

...I realized my life is not that interesting, lol. But all these familiar little things are comforting and I like my life. I'm blessed to have this time to stay home with my girls. But thank GOD for MOPS! It's nice to have adult time.

How was your morning?

Prayers for new babies

My good friend Liz was expecting her third baby in November, her second daughter. The pregnancy was uneventful until last week when her blood pressure was borderline high and there was some protein in her urine. She was on bed rest for a few days, more tests were run, and she was classified as severely pre-eclamptic. As a result, she was induced Sunday night (I think) at 35 weeks, which didn't really work. More induction methods were used on Monday and Liz gave birth to Annika at 4-something Tuesday morning. She's a tiny 4 lbs 12 oz and last I heard was being evaluated in the NICU. She appeared to be doing well, despite being born 5 weeks early. I assume she is doing well, since Liz and James have not posted an update requesting more prayers and they posted pictures holding her. I'm sure they would appreciate prayers even if tiny Annika is declared perfectly healthy.

Another friend, Shannon, is expecting her fourth child, first daughter very soon. I believe her due date is next week and she was expecting to be induced this weekend. She had an appointment yesterday which included an ultrasound. Baby Charlotte wasn't moving as much as the doctors would like to see at this point, so Shannon had to go up to the hospital for a non-stress test (basically the mother and baby are monitored for a few hours) and a second ultrasound. The NST went fine but in the ultrasound, Charlotte still wasn't moving much. Shannon ended up being kept overnight and was scheduled to be induced this morning, which is the last I'd heard. Shannon has been induced each pregnancy, so this isn't anything new, although the other times weren't for medical reasons. Shannon is 39 weeks pregnant, so there shouldn't be issues with prematurity, and hopefully Charlotte is just mellow or has low blood sugar. I'm sure they would also appreciate prayers.

It seems odd to me that two of my friends, due weeks apart, were both induced this week. Becky should be finding out soon if this baby is a boy or girl, and Steve's cousin Brittney should be finding out soon too. A few friends on my weight loss board are waiting to see if they're pregnant. Add in all the acquaintances on Facebook who recently had babies or are pregnant and it feels like I'm surrounded by baby news.

I was recently reminded that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It's oddly fitting with all the inductions for medical reasons this week, huh? The idea of losing a child, born or not, is heart-breaking to me. The number I've heard is that 1 in 4 women will experience a loss in her lifetime. That doesn't even take into account women who struggle with infertility and the possibility of not experiencing a pregnancy or giving their child a sibling. Please pray for my friends and their babies and their health and safety and also for all the families who have lost a baby at some point. I appreciate it and I'm sure they appreciate it a million times more than I do. Thank you.

Memories

It's funny how things jog your memory. With their lunch, I decided to give the girls chewable vitamins. Although they're the Meijer brand, I called them Flintstone vitamins. It immediately made me think of being at my grandparents' house. Grandma Atherton always kept the Flintstone vitamins around for our visits (and our cousins' visits, I'm sure). She kept them on top of the refrigerator. Flintstone vitamins will probably always make me think of Grandma, just like coo-coo clocks, Yahtzee and coffee in the morning, cheese popcorn, beagles, wagon rides behind a tractor, prisms, and birds. Most of those things remind me of Grandpa too.

Uno always makes me think of Christmas at Grandma Steward's house. The Dick Van Dyke Show reminds me of her too. And Teddy Grahams. And strawberry freezer jam on cinnamon toast.

It'll be interesting to me what things will remind my daughters of their grandparents. I'm guessing bikes will remind them of Papa Russ. Probably pool and ping pong too. Corned beef will remind them of Papa Doug and Grandma Linda. Chickens will remind them of Grandma Linda. Cinnamon rolls before church will be Grandma Carol, along with ravioli.

These memories make me safe. Looking back, I had a very comfortable, safe childhood. I don't remember ever feeling like I was in danger or life was uncertain. Most days would be a lot like the day before and there was a comfort in that. Life doesn't feel as certain now, but I think that has more to do with being an adult and being aware of the world around me. I hope my kids can look back in twenty-some years and feel as safe as I do looking back.

If you're not breathing hard, you're not doing it right!

If you've talked to me lately, you know I'm working out a lot. Some of the workouts are high intensity intervals. During the recovery periods in one of them, Chalene Johnson says, "If you're not breathing hard, you're not doing it right!" Or something very similar. In other words, you need to push yourself hard, to your limit. Your body rewards you by improving. Your cardiovascular level improves, you recover more quickly, you gain more muscle, you burn more calories, you lose more weight. But for it to work well, you have to push yourself hard. Otherwise, you're not doing it right.

In church today it hit me: if you're comfortable, you're not doing it right. Meaning you might not be on the right track if you feel comfortable. God pushes you out of your comfort zone. Like anything else, you have to push beyond what's comfortable if you want to improve. Which lead me to the realization that I'm too comfortable. It's easier for me to push beyond my comfort level in fitness than in faith. My fitness level is more tangible. But my faith is eternal. While fitness is an admirable thing to aspire to, I think it's time to re-evaluate my focus. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop working out. But my workouts are non-negotiable and I view most things through a fitness lens. I can relate pretty much everything to fitness or health now. I read about it, I think about it, I put my time and energy there. How big would my faith be if that were my primary focus instead?

Randomness

Thoughts I've had lately...

- DNA evidence would be the same for a set of identical twins. I wonder if the wrong twin has ever been convicted.

- Relatively speaking, I have bigger feet than Steve. I'm 5'4", which is average height for a woman. In most shoes, I wear between an 8 and 9, which I'm pretty sure is bigger than average. When I was recently fitted for running shoes, they gave me a 9.5. Holy giant feet! Steve, on the other hand, is 6'4", which is several inches taller than average. He wears size 11-11.5, which is pretty average and probably even a bit small for his height. Ergo, I have (relatively) bigger feet. So the girls' height will come from Steve and the huge feet to ensure they don't tip over came from me.

- I have a hard time understanding how someone can have kids with someone they hate. I know it's a pretty common thing, but I don't get it. Did they change that much? (Sorry if I offended anyone with that one, but it's been on my mind lately.)

- Nora likes it to be dark when she sleeps. If the light is on and she's tired, she flips her bib up over her face. Seriously.

- Steve has ordered an inordinate number of things online lately. Off the top of my head: two pairs of earbuds, an Xbox 360 controller, a router, a pair of shoes, a book, a waffle iron. Most of that has been in the last two weeks. Good thing he's enormously talented at finding deals online.

- That I know of, the tally of my ex-boyfriends' kids totals 8 girls and 1 boy. It appears that no matter who I married, I would have had all girls. Isn't that weird?

- Other than a weird heat wave this week, fall is here! I wish I had an excuse to buy school supplies.

Nora loves her sisters

Nora is a happy baby, probably 95% of the time. It's a wonderful thing. She's getting to that stage where she can't quite sit up on her own but she always wants to be sitting straight up, able to see everything around her. Without a doubt, Nora is happiest when she is sitting up, watching her sisters. She LOVES when they pay attention to her. She giggles hardest when they dance or jump for her. She smiles when they talk to her and kiss her goodnight. There have been so many times the girls are playing on the floor and Nora is sitting on my lap, straining forward with an eager look on her face. She can't wait to join them. (Side note: when she's on the floor, she immediately flips to her belly and starts moving her arms and legs. If she could get her belly off the floor, she'd be crawling. I have no doubt she'll crawl earlier (and probably walk earlier) than her sisters did.)

The big girls currently have a fort. Ella kept draping a blanket over the coffee table to make one. But once there were pillows under it, the girls barely fit. Not willing to give up the dining room table indefinitely, Steve fixed the card table. It's been sitting in the den for a few days now with a sheet covering it. The girls have pillows, blankets, books, and stuffed animals under there. I found some old star push lights (I have no idea what the real name is, but they're just lights that you push the top to turn on and off) and they have those under there too. They think their fort is the greatest thing ever. I think the fact that they're entertained for hours by a card table and sheet is the greatest thing ever, lol.

This morning I crawled into the fort and sat Nora up. She sat there, supported by my hands, looking around in awe. Ella and Mia crawled in too and she got the biggest grin ever. She was just so happy to be with her sisters. It was adorable. Until Ella yelled at me to get out. Meaning Nora would have to get out too, since she can't sit up alone. After I asked her if she really wanted to be mean to her baby sister and mom, she apologized. I told her if she asked nicely, we would leave. So she did and we did. I hope they include Nora better when they don't have to include me too, lol. She's only five months old and already admires them. She wants to be just like them. And they want to be like me. That's a big responsibility. Parenting is the best motivation to be the best me possible.

Bitterness

I'm not a bitter person. I'm generally optimistic and can find the humor in a situation. I was thinking about it though and thought, "Well, nothing has ever happened to me that I would be bitter about." I had a good, safe childhood. We didn't have the best of everything but we had what we needed and were happy. My parents are loving, supportive, and not overly critical or harsh. My parents are still married. I've never been badly hurt, never needed surgery, or had any real health scares (just weird things, live unexplained allergies suddenly develop, sprained the top of my foot, broke my knuckle, etc.). I've never been in an abusive relationship. I've never had anyone take advantage of me. Few things have been stolen from me and nothing of real value. I've been engaged once and the engagement ended up with a wedding. I've been married once, still am, and we're happy. I've been pregnant three times, carried three pregnancies to term, and have three healthy, beautiful daughters (you know, except for those hives). We have a house without any huge, immediate issues (it could use some cosmetic touch-ups) and two cars that run reliably. Steve has a job and I have a job available if I want it (that's HUGE in this economy!) and we have good health insurance. I was blessed enough to go to college and even more blessed to go back for my masters degree. I have had a good life. The worst things that have happened to me didn't even happen directly to ME: Dad's heart attack, Tracy's miscarriage, Leslie's scoliosis and back surgery, etc.

Then I had another thought: Is it that I have nothing to be bitter about or that I've chosen not to be bitter? I have had bad things happen, things that weren't fair. Money was stolen from my room at Spring Arbor and another time from my car at the country club where I worked. A car shop did shoddy work on our car and when it all fell apart again, they were out of business and we were out of luck. I was bullied in junior high, to the point that I went home sick a lot to avoid those girls. I was never very popular and never made Homecoming court, let alone queen. The guy I dated for a year and a half in high school dumped me the same weekend I got my wisdom teeth pulled, because he liked a freshman. My first car was a horrible car that burned oil, stalled, and I was afraid to drive because I thought it would break down. I've always struggled with poor body image. I didn't get to wear honor cords because calculus dragged my GPA down, when the girls who dropped it for health did. I've had to work hard to lose every last pound of baby weight. The kids misbehave and my husband isn't perfect. Maybe if I focused on those things, I would be bitter.

But WHY?

Bitterness steals the joy in life. It makes you hard and cold and seem older than you are. And while I do have the occasional pity party, bitterness just isn't fun. What does it accomplish? Whining and crying about the past doesn't make me feel better and it doesn't change what happened. What DOES help is to deal with it and move on. It's so much better to focus on what's good and find the humor in the bad. The sort of people you surround yourself with can make a huge difference. If you're constantly around negative people, your focus becomes negative. You complain more. You become sarcastic. But have you ever had something bad happen when you were with a positive person? They might laugh because it's just absurd and suddenly the whole thing doesn't seem as bad. It feels more like an adventure or a good story in the making rather than a disaster. Attitude changes everything. And attitude can be changed by what you habitually focus on. The more you focus on the positive, the easier and more natural it becomes to have a positive outlook. Same thing with negativity. Change your outlook and it changes your life.

So how are you CHOOSING to see your world today?

Pet peeves

Just a few things that irritate me:

- People that call their pets their kids. Um, no. If you want a kid, have a kid. A pet is part of the family, as a PET. Having a pet does not make your parents grandparents. And for the love of everything good, don't dress the poor thing up.

- Baby talk. How is a small child supposed to learn how to talk correctly if all the adults around him/her talk wike dis in a high voice?

- Parents who caption pictures/write letters/etc from their child's point of view. If the child is old enough to talk and not write, that's different. But you're not a mind reader and it's annoying.

- Humidity. Ugh. I'm SO ready for fall. I <3 fall.

- People who complain they never have money but spend money on expensive toys and eat out all the time. Um, you DO have money, you just like to pretend you don't so you don't have to spend a dime on anyone but yourself.

- People who can't seem to see the bright side of anything. Is life that bad? Really? I mean, sometimes so many things go wrong it's comical. Laugh and move on.

And lest you start to think all I do is complain, here are a few things I'm really happy/excited about.

- Leslie and Paul are moving back today! YAY!!! We love them and have missed them so much. (On a side note, if anyone knows of an accounting position in a company in the Jackson area, let me know. Leslie is looking.)

- Jonathan was home for 2 weeks! We're sad to see him go back but so proud of him. He's all grown up now, sniff sniff.

- Nora is a rolling machine! Technically, that would be a roller, wouldn't it? Anyhow, if she's on the floor, she rolls. And when she's on her belly, she making crawling motions. She just can't get her belly out of the way, lol. She's growing so fast. I'll miss some of the baby things but that's what nieces and nephews are for, right? ;)

- Flash cards! And the dollar bins at Target. Since Ella isn't potty trained and therefore can't go to preschool, I've been thinking I need to spend an hour or so each day working with her. But she already knows all kinds of stuff: colors, shapes, body parts, most numbers and letters, and she can even (kind of) write her name and spell/recognize a few words. Mia knows some of the same things too. The best part about the flash cards? The girls LOVE them. The puzzles too. Ella has those mastered already.

- Our new car. Not as excited about the payments (which are still lower than the Nissan's were) but whatever. We have two reliable cars and that's worth it. And the PT Cruiser is just fun!

- Women's Retreat! I've been to a retreat or two with Mom before, but this one is in Evart, focused on health (including physical health, which is my passion right now), and will be an overnight in a hotel with Mom, Tracy, and Leslie! And Leslie and I are driving up together in the Cruiser. Awesome!

(Ew. Ew. Ew. I caught a whiff of something. It was Mia. Not only was it a nasty dirty diaper, it squished out the side onto her shorts. And her leg. And my hand. Ewww. Thank GOD for disposable diapers, baby wipes, running water, and soap. And scented candles.)

- Fall! My favorite season. I know most people associate it with things dying. I associate it with change and relief from the summer heat. I love the bonfires (someday when the kids are older we can go to one again, lol), hoodies, jeans, changing leaves, the eeriness of the wind whipping through bare tree limbs, the first snow. I'm even excited about school supplies and a little disappointed that I have no reason to buy any. Thus the flash cards for the girls. Plus I love the holiday season and in the fall excitement is building for those. (Side note: I should start doing Christmas shopping soon so I'm not trying to finish it the week before Christmas...)

- New babies that aren't ours! Meaning the excitement of a new baby and cuddling with a newborn without the morning sickness, weight gain, labor and delivery, expense, sleepless nights, and diapers! :) For anyone that doesn't know, Becky and Zech are expecting a new baby in March. Becky thinks it's two but we should find out on Friday.

- Having everything we need. Honestly, we have a great little life. We have two good cars, a home, enough food, plenty of toys, family, friends, health. (Side note again: I'm healthy as a horse apparently. After adjusting my calorie range, I'm now losing weight. And I know I'm blessed to be able to work out as hard as I do. I'm also very thankful for my exercise.) I know I can always find something to complain about, but I'm trying to focus on positives now. I was in a slump for a while and felt like I wasn't making progress in any area of my life. I really think it was directly related to my inner overachiever. I've accomplished SO much in the last few years that *only* having a baby this year felt like I didn't do much. Ridiculous, right? A friend sent me the kindest message on FB though and told me how talented, strong, and successful I am. Sometimes I need to be reminded to look at WHO I am, not what I've accomplished.

Anyhow, it's nap time for the big girls. Which means lunch time for me and Nora and then naps for her and exercise for me. Then a shower and some straightening up before my family (minus Tracy, Donovan, and girls :( ) comes for dinner. Off to stay busy! :)

Mia's Hives

Last time I updated was the day I took Mia in to get her hives checked out again. No fever (so no chicken pox and not contagious) and it didn't appear to be an allergy, bacterial, or fungal. Instead, the doctor said it appears to be viral. He said it should clear up on its own in 7 to 10 days and she didn't need Benadryl unless she was really itchy. Okay.

So I didn't give Mia any meds that night. Thursday morning she looked worse than ever and she was scratching. I gave her some Benadryl and gave her more than night before bed. Friday morning she still looked bad. I called the doctor's office and waited for their return call. He said to try Claritin syrup. We picked some up that night and gave her a dose. It's just one dose every 24 hours. She's mostly cleared up now, thank God. Hopefully they'll be completely gone in the next few days.

I try to avoid talking too much about my weight loss attempts here, but I did mention my physical. So here are the results: physically, everything looks great. I had a complete blood panel done and my cholesterol, blood sugar, and thyroid levels are completely normal. So are my blood counts. Great news, although it didn't explain the whole not losing weight issue. So I'm adjusting my calories and hoping for the best. The doctor did say he could prescribe a pill, but it would be an appetite suppressant and I haven't had problems staying in my calorie range. I doubt I'll go that route.

Nora just keeps growing. She's healthy and happy, except when Steve makes a weird noise and then she freaks out and screams for a while. She has to be able to see what's going on and she likes to squirm around on the floor. She rolls well, but doesn't bother to do it very often. Her grasp is strong too and she's starting to show interest in toys. Mainly they go in her mouth and she gnaws on them, but it's still interest. :) She giggles all the time and loves smiling at most people.

Ella likes to pretend. She pretends to cook, pretends to shop, pretends to be different things, etc. She has a great imagination. She likes to make up stories too and likes to "read" the bedtime story (she makes up a story based on the pictures). She also likes to shout random strings of words, like "cucumber tomato factory!" She's the great imitator too. She repeats all kinds of things she hears, some used appropriately, some not. Either way, it's usually hilarious. A favorite is "Ella out. PEACE!" with a flash of the peace sign. Seriously. Yesterday she did part of my workout with me.

Mia is a creature of habit. There's one toy that she wears on her wrist as a bracelet everyday. When she curls up on the floor with her blanket, she always uses the rose pillow. She has to have certain colors of things. Along with the bracelet, she carries a bag with random things in it and wears her sunglasses. She likes to pull them down her nose and peer over them at you. And dancing is one of her favorite things. She's affectionate and encouraging. She cheered me on while I worked out yesterday.

On to the subject of work...Steve likes his new job much better but it's been stressful lately. Basically they're understaffed and not hiring. Not cool. I'm working one day a week. I've been offered more hours but declined. In my busy little life, working is low on my list of priorities. If it's going to take me away from my family, it needs to be something I'm passionate about. Problem is, with all the appointments and sickness and life, I've worked once in the last 5 weeks. I have a chiropractor appointment tonight and Regan is sick, so no work. Next week, my sitter requested off for her husband's vacation. The one week I did work, Mia didn't feel good and I almost left early. Aside from my heart not being in it, it's not fair to my employer that I'm rarely there when scheduled. And so I'm going to let them know I can fill in when someone is on vacation, but I need to be taken off the schedule. I know, I must be nuts, giving up a job in this economy. But being with my family ranks higher right now.

Anyhow, I'm now typing one-handed because Nora needed a bottle, so that's all for now.

Hives

Wow, I'm *awesome* at updating this. Anyhow, Mia is broken out in hives. Again. I can't remember if I mentioned it before or if she was breaking out then, but Mia started breaking out in hives probably 4 weeks ago. We weren't sure what the issue was. So we stripped the bed and washed all her blankets, thinking maybe that was the issue. Nope. We started giving her Benadryl thinking that should help and it kinda did. After maybe a week of hives we took her to Med Plus (an after-hours med clinic). The doctor told us it wasn't detergent or soap causing it, but something she's eating or drinking. He listed off some common offenders, most of which she hadn't had. Cereal set off a light bulb. They had a new cereal that week. The doctor told me to give her Benadryl and told me the correct dose, so we did that and 86'ed the cereal. She mostly cleared up and we went to Tracy's for the weekend. She was fine. We got home and she broke out again. The doctor said it wasn't environmental...

Steve realized we gave her orange Powerade. And I remembered different people mentioning issues with red dye 40. We didn't have the bottle to check the ingredients but I did check the ingredient list for the cereal and bingo, there it was. Over the next few days, I started weeding out foods with red dye 40 - no fruit snacks, certain cereals and crackers are off limits. Luckily the juice, cereal bars, and most of the crackers and cereal were fine. But she wasn't clearing up completely. After giving her a dose of Benadryl one day before nap time, I looked down and realized the medicine is red...sure enough, it had red dye 40 in it. So we inadvertently were making her hives worse while trying to clear them up. I checked and it was in their toothpaste too. Good grief! I ended up going to the store that night to buy dye-free Benadryl and different toothpaste.

Since we bought the dye-free medicine, she cleared up. Awesome! Until Monday afternoon. I went back and checked everything I had fed her and no red dye listed anywhere. Tuesday they were still there. And today she's still covered in red spots. So rather than going to work today, when Kat gets here, I'm taking Mia to the doctor. The Med Plus doctor was able to tell me that with her very fair skin, she'll be sensitive to lots of things and prone to allergies. He said heat tends to make hives worse too, but we have AC. It does get warmer upstairs, which is where their bedroom is, but she's still breaking out. Maybe it's not the red dye 40. But we need to get this figured out. Luckily she doesn't seem very bothered by the hives but I hesitate to take her anywhere covered in red spots. We're trying to take care of it and she's not contagious, but no one else knows that. I was hoping cutting out the red dye 40 would solve the problem but it doesn't seem that it worked. Maybe we'll have to do allergy testing after all. But first things first - we're seeing one of the doctors in our practice today. I wish we were seeing *our* doctor but I trust the judgment of the other doctors in his practice too. Hopefully we'll get some answers.

On a side note, they're going to be very familiar with me there. I had Nora in last week for her 4 month well child check (she's 15 lbs 8 oz, 25.5 inches long, EXACTLY the same size Mia was at 4 mos) and I go in tomorrow for a physical (I have some concerns about my thyroid due to barely losing weight despite working out regularly and counting calories for months). I am so glad we have good insurance!

3 months and tween music

Nora is now 3 months old. She's still a happy, easy-going baby. Most nights she sleeps well. For a full week, she slept 8-9 hours each night. Then for a week she was getting up once a night again. But the past two nights she's back to sleeping a good 7 hours, so I really can't complain. She's a wiggler. We still swaddle her at night but she always wiggles until her feet are free. She likes to be on the floor and can wiggle in circles and moves around. She can roll onto her side but hasn't rolled over completely yet. She loves to be able to see what's going on around her. Ella and Mia like to talk to her and try to get her to smile. Ella has more success, talking to her in a syrupy, high-pitched tone. Mia tries but doesn't understand that being 2 inches from Nora's face worries her more than amuses her. Nora seems to like the attention from both of them though. Since she's been sleeping so well, we moved her to the crib in the girls' room. They love having her in there, although normally they're asleep from the time I lay her down to the time I get her in the morning. In the afternoons, they all like to watch me work out. Not sure why they find it so much fun, but it makes it easier for me and the older girls are really encouraging, telling me I'm strong and giving high fives. Nora gets really excited and starts kicking her feet like mad. And then she usually falls asleep, lol.

There's not a lot of other news here. Ella will sit on the potty and go, but doesn't tell us when she needs to go. I'm back to work one day a week. Right now that's plenty. I'm doing TurboFire. I like it and am seeing results, just not on the scale. But that's in more detail on my other blog. We watch a lot of Phineas and Ferb. Steve will even watch it when the girls are in bed. Problem is, we end up watching a lot of Disney XD commercials. One of them is a Jonas Brothers music video. The result is that I, a 26 year old mom of 3, end up walking around singing a Jonas Brothers song. It really is catchy. "LA, LA, baby. LA, LA, baby..."

4th of July and sleep!

We didn't have any big plans for the 4th this year, which was fine by us. Life is so busy these days that low-key plans are wonderful. Steve got confused about the dates for some plans, so we ended up having a date night on the 3rd. We had Mexican and then played mini golf. Then we went to see the fireworks with the girls. The older girls remembered them from last year and they loved them again. Nora woke up and I sat her on my lap facing the fireworks. She watched them intently and cooed every so often. It was a late night but the girls loved it.

Now the big news: Nora has slept 8-9 hours straight for the past 7 nights! I was convinced the first night was a fluke, since it was Steve's night to get up with her. She did it again the next night, again a night Steve normally gets up with her. But it happened again and again. Last night we decided to try letting her sleep in the crib in her sisters' room and see how that went. Once again, she slept straight through. Awesome! It is SUCH a relief that her sleep patterns are more like Ella's than Mia's.

I started a second blog so that my weight loss wouldn't take over this one. My profile links to both. I do have to share that TurboFire came this week - yay! I'm starting it Monday and hope the scale actually moves down after that.

A few other bits of news: Steve's cousin's wife had their newest baby earlier this week. Steve's mom turned 50. And my good friend Jenny was induced yesterday and had little Jaden this morning! I don't have more details than that, since Nate said they needed naps. I should get more info later and hopefully can go visit them tomorrow since I don't think I'll get a chance today.

A few pictures of my girls

This picture cracks me up every time. Mia mid-wail, Ella just fake smiling, and Nora just going with it. But to show Mia is a wonderful big sister, here's a picture of her "reading" to Nora. :)

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...

Wow, been a while, huh? I've planned on posting several times but rarely have two free hands and I get tired of typing one-handed. I'll have to post again soon (with pictures!) about Leslie's wedding and Haylie's birthday party. I'm sure by then it'll be after Abigail's birthday party too. So tons of pictures!

But today the thing on my mind is Mia. Lately she's been mini-Paula. She pretends to drink coffee. She gets her "purse," my sandals, and puts her baby doll in the carseat and tells me she's going to the store. Sometimes she plays mommy and changes her doll's diaper. Other times she puts on my sneakers, a watch (like my heart rate monitor), and gets a remote to start the DVD to work out. Occasionally she puts on a pair of gloves (like my weighted workout gloves). Most of the time it cracks me up. Other times she scolds her sister like I do, and it's not so flattering. Few things are as accurate a reflection of who we are as our little kids are. They closely watch everything we do and imitate it. I'm proud of the fact that my girls want to work out like me. Going to the store or drinking coffee, not an issue (at least, once they're older). But yelling and doling out punishments? Makes me want to be a better parent.

Settling in

Life has been busy to say the least. But for the most part, it's been full of day-to-day busyness. Doctor appointments, diaper changes, feedings, trying to find time to feed myself and even fit in a workout if I'm lucky. Most nights Nora sleeps pretty well, which is good. Steve needs sleep to function at work and I'm an absolute bear if I don't get enough sleep. Getting enough sleep is key to me having a good day. Yesterday wasn't such a good day. The problem was more that sleep was interrupted than short, although 6.5 isn't really enough for me. The longest stretch was 3.5 hours. Ugh. I miss sleep. At least Nora slept better last night, which means I did too.

Most of my day has been consumed with changing diapers, feeding, and burping. It's working well enough, although between two toddlers and an infant, my needs tend to get pushed back. Yesterday I didn't eat breakfast until 12:30. Lunch is usually around 3:00. I've been trying my hardest to work out regularly, since I'm not happy with my body or the scale right now. Since it's the only thing I manage to do for me other than eat and use the bathroom, I make it a priority. Unfortunately, priority or not, the earliest I manage to work out is 4:00, usually later. But I get it done and I'm seeing some results, in my body, on the scale, and my fitness level. I wish it were quicker but I'm notoriously impatient (married 7 months after our first date? 3 kids in 3.5 years? after only being married 4.5 years? yup). I know I'll get there soon enough but the waiting is hard.

Nora has started smiling. Real smiles. It's wonderful. They're still few and far between but I love them. Ella and Mia love their sister, Mia especially. If I lay Nora on a blanket on the floor, Mia has to sit thisclose to her. Nora doesn't seem to mind and I think it's sweet. Mia is pretty good about being gentle too. Ella helps us more than dotes on Nora, which is sweet in its own right.

It's 11:30 and Nora needs to eat and have her diaper changed. Then the girls need lunch and then it's nap time, which means another diaper change. Nora will need to eat again then and be burped. Hopefully she'll fall asleep for a little bit and I can eat lunch and then feed her again before I work out. Maybe I can get the workout done and get a shower before Steve gets home today. Then dinner and I have a chiropractor appointment at 6:40. I have a few other errands and then it's the girls' bedtime. Busy busy. At least I get out of the house today...

A Mother's Day Letter

Dear Mom,
Happy Mother's Day! Sorry we can't spend it together this year, but we'll make up for it next weekend. I'm glad you can spend today with your mom.

I always knew you did a lot for me and I appreciated it. But I didn't realize all you did and how much you sacrificed for us until I had kids of my own. Thank you for everything, and thank you for never thinking it was a sacrifice. People seem to think I'm a good mom and that my kids are sweet, smart, and well-behaved. I know I can take some credit for that, but I think a lot of that credit should go to you, since you taught me how to be a good mom. Thank you for being supportive and involved but giving me space to grow up and learn on my own. Thank you for making time for me when it wasn't convenient. Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick. Thank you for loving me when I was difficult and not very likable. Thank you for all the advice over the years and resisting giving me advice when I didn't ask for it, lol.

I miss you and wish you lived closer. I'm really looking forward to seeing you next weekend. Since Nora was born, I've thought a lot about the night you stayed at the hospital with me after Amelia was born so Steve could be home with Ella. While I really appreciated your help, I think I appreciated the time alone with you even more. I still laugh when I think about the story you told me over lunch, when you laughed so hard you cried. It's one of my favorite recent memories of you. Thanks again for everything Mom. You're the best and I love you.

Love,
Paula

New job, new baby :)

Last week was a busy, very good week at our house. Tuesday morning Steve received a phone call with a job offer! Better yet, they offered him more money than he asked for! Wednesday morning he authorized a background check and did his drug test. He received his official offer letter that afternoon. He put in his two weeks notice. But because of the baby and his scheduled FMLA time, he finished at Comcast on Wednesday, although he technically is still employed there until the 16th. Nice to get a new job and your last two weeks are paid time off. :)

Steve went to my appointment on Thursday and I hadn't really progressed much more (effaced 30% more) but the doctor set up my induction for Friday, providing there were beds available. Apparently there were 8 births on Thursday, so the odds of L&D having openings Friday morning were pretty good. :) Sure enough, they told us to come in at 7:30am. I was checked and had my water broken at 8:25. The nurses started the pitocin at 8:30. The first few hours, nothing really happened. I had the occasional light contraction. By 11:15 I was starting to get a bit uncomfortable so I asked to be checked. I was still only 3-4 cms, 80%, -1. Some nurse scared me out of getting the intrathecal yet, worrying it would slow labor and wear off before I needed to push. By 12:03 I was in a lot more pain and signed all the paperwork for the intrathecal, deciding on that instead of an epidural (an intrathecal is a single-shot, more immediate, and wears off sooner, but I felt way better after my intrathecal than I did after the epidural). I was at a 5, 80%, -1. So things were progressing slower than they had with Mia. The nurse called the anesthesiologist but he was called into an emergency elsewhere before he made it to my room. Since I dilated from 5 to 10 in 25 minutes with Mia, the nurses didn't leave my room after that. By 11:33 I was feeling a lot more pressure and started feeling like I might need to push soon. They checked me and I was still only 6 cms and 95%. The rest is a bit fuzzy because things happened so fast. I kept asking for the anesthesiologist because I really wanted my intrathecal, lol. The pressure got worse and worse. At some point I started feeling the urge to push. A nurse checked me and said the baby's head was right there and I was complete (dilated to 10). They told me to breathe through the contractions and not to push until the doctor came. So I fought pushing until the doctor made it into the room. Apparently I pushed for 2 contractions, so maybe 2 minutes and Nora was born. (Btw, it does hurt a lot worse without drugs.) She was born at 12:47, which means I dilated 4 cms and gave birth within 14 minutes, including the time I fought the urge to push. The nurses kept telling me what a great job I did, lol. So now I have done natural child birth, but not because I wanted to.

The stats in a nutshell: Nora Ann was born on April 9, 2010, at 12:47 pm. She was 7 lbs 12 0z and 20 inches long. She has dark hair and her eyes appear to be dark. We'll see if her hair and eyes stay brown. She has long feet and a stork bite on her nose the shape of a tiny foot print. She's pretty calm and easy going. She sleeps relatively well, but does have her days and nights mixed up a bit. Ella and Mia like her and like to help with her. They throw diapers away, get her bottle, etc. Mia gets so concerned when Nora cries. I think they'll pay more attention to her once she smiles and can interact a bit more. Already Nora can sleep through the girls running around screeching.

My recovery is going pretty well. My pelvis is still sore, but better than it was before Nora was born. My midsection is soft and squishy but much flatter/smaller than it was. Other things are slowly returning to normal (other moms know what I mean and if you don't know, you don't want to). I'm waiting for more of the water weight to go away to see if my bridesmaid dress will fit. I'm not looking forward to Steve going back to work next week but I am so glad it will be to a new job he'll enjoy and he'll be home in the evenings again. Hopefully we can get Nora's sleep schedule straightened out a bit more before then.

The final thing for this post: Mia is two today! It's hard to believe she's already two. She is so compassionate and has the biggest vocabulary. She's an enthusiastic eater (nice way of saying she eats everything and makes a mess doing it) and has big emotions. Whether she's upset or happy, she's extremely upset or happy. It's a good thing she calms down easily, lol. She loves her sisters and is a cuddler. She regularly climbs into our laps or asks for a hug and kiss. She's cautious around people but will climb anything and everything (total opposite of Ella who loves all people but is cautious of climbing and usually needs to work herself up to going down a slide). She can escape from a crib or pack'n'play without making a sound but trips over nothing walking across the room. She's our little redhead. We'll have cake later today and then her birthday party on Saturday. Her party will be kind of small, but I think she's just excited about cakes and candles and gifts right now. :) Happy birthday Amelia Jane!